Pope Francis Never Asked For A Blanket Pardon

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 8 April 2021

image for Pope Francis Never Asked For A Blanket Pardon
"Yeah, I'm clean."

Who asks for a blanket pardon? Not Pope Francis, or the Barefoot Contessa, Julie Andrews, or anyone gloriously famed for their Spic & Span immaculate reputation.

Congressman Matt Gaetz asked Donald Trump for a blanket pardon before Trump left the White House. Why? Judging from reports in the New York Times: Why not?

The guy, Gaetz, was reported to have had sex with minors, sex trafficking, or paying their travel expenses across state lines, which carries a punishment of up to ten years in prison, and for other things. So why not ask for the general blanket pardon?

Apparently, Trump said, "No!" though some rumored that Trump considered giving his three older adult children blanket pardons.

Why? Well, did Trump consider giving Pope Francis a blanket pardon? No. Why not? Apparently, there are no skeletons buried in the Pope’s backyard.

Which means what? You’d have to ask Trump or his kids.

But Matt Gaetz is in trouble. It seems he also went so far as to show nude pictures of the ladies he had sex with to other Congress members on the House's floor.

Editor's question: He had sex on the House floor?

He didn’t have sex on the House floor. He only showed photographs of the women he had previously had sex with to other Congress members at the House of Representatives.

Editor’s question: Did anyone yell, “Lock him up?”

No, that’s just a line Trump uses for Hillary. However, they say Trump was thinking of giving himself a blanket pardon.

Wiser minds advised against it.

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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