It was a grey day and my mood wasn't great - someone had stolen my unicycle from outside of Greggs Pie Shop, which, in itself, was a minor miracle, as I had left it outside Starbucks.
Feeling depressed, I walked home, the route taking me across Nob End, Greater Manchester.
I decided to sit at the top of Nob End to contemplate my next mode of transport, and why I had just paid £4.50 for a coffee which tasted of burnt dung. It was then that I heard the tinny words of Pope Francis of Rome. I looked over to the source of the papal words, and spied a nun who was holding a tranny up to her left ear and crying tears from her right eye.
I walked across to the nun, and as I got closer, the words of Pope Francis became more clear. So clear, in fact, that they stopped me in my tracks. Very soon, I was crying from my left eye as his words touched me in a way I have never been touched before.
It transpired that the nun was actually an undercover agent working for the Department of Unemployment, but she decided there and then that she was too touched by Pope Francis to carry on deceiving people for a living, and she rode off on a unicycle.
I never saw the nun or unicycle ever again, but the words of Pope Francis that had touched me so much on the Nob End that day will stay with me forever.