Pope Stuck in Elevator--Now Understands Purgatory

Written by Amiko Aventurista

Monday, 2 September 2019

image for Pope Stuck in Elevator--Now Understands Purgatory
Next Time I'll Take the Stairs

At an impromptu news conference, Vatican Spokesperson Alessandro Gisotti explained to an overflow crowd of reporters that Pope Francis was late to celebrate Sunday mass due to an elevator malfunction. Gisotti went to great length to say the Pope was fine. But, after answering several tough questions, it was apparent Gisotti was irritated, and at one point snapped, "Da Papa, he is ok, whats ser mater fo yo... "

Apparently, Pope Francis was stuck between floors for 25 minutes, until workers were able to restore power and pry, the praying, pontiff. "Whoa, da was a close one!" were the first words heard from the Pope upon release.

Pope Francis, born Jorge Mario Bergoglio, was on his way to mass when the power failed at the Vatican. The Vatican does not have a backup generator, because, according to Gisotti, "...for wha we need da, whats ser mater fo you."

During mass the Pope joked with the faithful that his special pope powers did not work in the elevator. "I had no wifi bars on my God mobile, ha ha." Francis went on to laugh about it with the congregation. "God did not recognize me; he thought it was another his Jorge from Buenos Aires asking for yet another favor. Being stuck in an elevator is like purgatory, you hope you are going up to heaven but ........."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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