LGBT Opens Worship City to Help Humanity

Funny story written by Erickson 2

Monday, 29 March 2021

image for LGBT Opens Worship City to Help Humanity
Model of LGBT Worship City

The LGBT organization is to create a religious mecca for Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transgenders, and liberal Straight people, in San Francisco, named Worship City. "We created the center out of necessity after being rejected by other religious institutions," says LGBT organizer Trudy Evergreen.

Modeled after Vatican City, in an organized structure, the new district is to hold five new denominations of major religions, Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism, Islam, and Hinduism. More denominations of other religions are yet to come.

The LGBT organization hopes to build other Worship Citys in non-hostile countries like Scandinavia, Poland, Germany, France, England, Egypt, Canada, North America, South America, and Australia.

Each Worship City will employ nearly 2,000 people, and will have a surplus of 6.7 million dollars for its working budget. Its employees will be non-profit Corporate executives and clergy.

The model for the Worship City in San Francisco will have a congressional building where all the denominations meet to discuss financial strategies.

Each major religious denomination will have a basilica building within Worship City where they can plan the prospects of their religion, and where each denomination will administer all the churches they build around the city and state.

At the moment, Worship City's $100 billion investment fund, Mountain Peak, slashed big tech stocks, quadrupled its Tesla stake, and bought GameStop shares last quarter.

The fund's US stock portfolio rose in value to $44 billion.

At the moment, Worship City has created two new religious denominations, a Christian and Buddhist religion, but more are yet to be created.

The Church of Emmanuel is the new Christian denomination of the LGBT that stems from the life, teachings, and death of Emanuel, who was born to a single woman named Mary, and who was sacrificed on the cross for gender equality and the sins of man. Emanuel is male, but preaches theology that God is love and that he accepts all types of gender people as children of God. Their teaching is to love your neighbor, forgive others, and ask God for the forgiveness of your sins. Emmanuel is the Messiah and was given the authority to forgive others. The belief that all types of sex is wholesome is essential in the new religion. The devil is the fallen angel who stands against the free will of man, and who creates division and hate among people.

As expressed in the new denomination of Buddha's Four Noble Truths, the new goal of Buddhism is to overcome suffering (duḥkha) by a desire to accept different types of sexual orientation, and to embrace sexual cravings as Nature's gift to aid mankind in pleasure and the birth of life (taṇhā), attachment to discipline the self to achieve success, and overcome ignorance (avidya) of the true nature of scientific reality, and to avert a belief in fantasies. The new Buddhist tradition emphasizes transcending the individual self through a never-ending struggle against poverty and failure.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more