MAR-A-LAGO – (Satire News) – Representatives with the Category 5 Hurricane Moving Van Company are furious at the fact that former president, Donald Trump is refusing to pay his moving bill from Washington, D.C. to Mar-a-Lago.
Moving van company owner Ernest Bob Striggly spoke with Tweedie Funkweiser with the Tri-Consolidated News Agency, and told her that Trump agreed to pay his company $19,725 to move his stuff.
Miss Funkweiser, who, on occasion works as a pole dancer, expressed that the old lying pussy grabber says that he is not paying because they lost one of his favorite hand mirrors. He claims it once belonged to Joan of Arc.
Trump also said that his number 3 iron is missing, along with two of his balls.
Striggly reportedly said that he already knew that Trumpelstiltskin had no balls, and when he gets through beating the shit out of him, the peckerwood won’t have a pecker either.
Meanwhile, Melania Trump says she feels she may be pregnant. When asked if her husband was excited, she replied, “I’m nut too chure. Becuzz Donaldo, mays nut be dee fodder.”