WASHINGTON -The members of Trump’s campaign team and pro-Trump non-profit groups strongly deny having had anything to do with the alleged storming of the Capitol Building on January 6th, 2021.
Trump’s aides were unavailable for comment. Our sources in the FBI are telling us it’s becoming increasingly difficult to locate them, almost as if they were hiding somewhere in the US or in Russia.
We’ve managed to get in touch with the representatives of the non-profit group “Women For White America First”. They were hesitant to talk to us, but changed their minds after we bluntly asked the following question: “Did you have anything to do with organizing and orchestrating the riot and storming of the Capitol building on January 6th?”
“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” replied the representative of this fine group. “What Capitol, what riot? On that particular date, we were in our underground facility - it’s more like a cave, actually - where we had stashed food and water for two years, in case of a revolution or something. All of us white girls were busy watching WW2 propaganda documentaries about blond and blue-eyed German soldiers exercising in the Austrian Alps.”
“And when you say capital, which capital are you referring to? Paris, France? I know they often have riots, but that’s because they are socialists. The whole country is being run by the Chinese communist party.”
“But you were seen and recorded on camera during the “Save America Rally” on Jan. 6th, immediately before rioters stormed the Capitol building. Six people died.”
“I’ve never heard of such an event. It’s fake news. Today’s technology allows anyone to create a video and embed people who weren't there. And the liberal, communist media have been propelling baseless conspiracy theories about patriotic Americans trying to overthrow the government.”
“What are your plans for the future?”
“We’re waiting for the President to move in with the military and hang traitors.”