WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider has revealed that Melania Trump is extremely upset at her husband, because he wants to make a Presidential Executive Order that would allow the U.S. government to shoot prisoners, instead of putting them in the gas chamber or in the electric chair.
She asked her husband why he would want to do such a cruel thing, and he replied, because bullets are not that expensive compared to electricity or gas.
Her husband then allegedly told her that his boys, Eric and Dopey (Don Jr.), who are both big game hunters, have begged him to put them on what will be a Federal Traveling Firing Squad.
Meanwhile, Trump’s main attorney, Rudy “The Human Candle” Giuliani, suggested to the President that a much better way of executing the convicts would be to simply poison them.
Giuliani added that he put the pencil to paper and figured that the cost of the execution would come out to just 45 cents per prisoner, plus it would be a whole lot quieter.