New Zealand Prime Minister Offers COVID-19 Pandemic Tips To Biden

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 23 November 2020

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BILLINGSGATE POST: New Zealand's prime minister, Jacinda Ardern, has said she has offered to help President-elect Joe Biden manage his response to the coronavirus pandemic once he is inaugurated.

New Zealand, which has a population of around 4.8 million and is surrounded by water, has largely avoided the pandemic that has ravaged the rest of the world.

“I offered to him and his team access to New Zealand health officials, in order to share their experience on things we’ve learnt on our COVID-19 journey,” Ardern said on Monday, according to Reuters.

An official from the New Zealand Ministry of Health suggested that President-elect Biden should immediately cull the population of the United States to a manageable number. The current population is around 350 million. He suggests perhaps knocking that down to less than 5 million, keeping only the best and brightest liberals as a base for a new civilization.

Also, to keep our borders sacrosanct, we should immediately follow the example of New Zealand and create an island-like fortress. With the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans already there, by building a moat on both the Mexican and Canadian borders, this could easily be done.

Slim: “If Biden knocks off 345 million people, who will build the moat?”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. All I want to see are assholes and elbows.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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