Rip Van Biden Finally Wakes Up: Can’t Stop Talking

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 17 November 2020

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Rip Van Biden

BILLINGSGATE POST: After six months of silent hibernation in his basement, Rip Van Biden finally wakes up and can’t stop talking.

“This can happen,” says noted Sleep Therapist, Dr. Quasimodo, who heads the Deep Sleep Department at Harvard University.

“Usually,” Dr. Quasimodo goes on to say, “This sleep disorder phenomenon is a result of oxygen deprivation in the brain of the individual. Once this happens, most patients who suffer from this deprivation never wake up. But in some rare cases, such as in Rip Van Biden’s, they wake up and start chatting, only interrupting themselves for eating and sniffing hair.”

Slim: “Do they ever catch up on what they missed?”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Wake me up in four years.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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