Trump: "Voters don't decide elections, courts do"

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Monday, 16 November 2020

image for Trump: "Voters don't decide elections, courts do"
Lady Justice uses her sword to fight for more money from lawsuits. Those eye doctors charge high fees.

For most people, the US election is over. Joe Biden won by a clear margin of 306-232 - coincidentally the same margin that Donald Trump won by four years ago. But Trump and his supporters have still not accepted the defeat.

"We're going to take this to court," said Trump lawyer Rudy Guiliani, despite there being no evidence of wrong-doing that would justify such a move.

Spokesman for the losing president, Wyoming Idaho, said it was time for a change. "We've had 244 years of democracy in this country where we have let the voters decide. And let's be honest, it hasn't worked out too well."

He continued, "What we need is a court system that doesn't rely on trivial things such as facts and evidence. The winner of the election should be whoever files the most lawsuits. And, so far, Trump is winning 10 to 0 on that score. He deserves to be our president again."

US election commentator Geoff Washington disagreed. "Those lawsuits were all thrown out. I don't know where Trump gets the money from to pay for these, because he's broke. It's astonishing that the US may well be undermining the foundations of its own democracy, just to please the ego of a pathetic narcissist who can't stand the fact that he lost. It's like he's a snowflake Hitler."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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