WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider told GOPicky Magazine that he has never seen the President looking sadder than he is now looking.
The staffer revealed that POTUS is spending most of his time in the White House bunker, surrounded by dozens of Styrofoam containers of McDonalds Big Macs, and a huge keg of Diet Coke.
Trump is not even allowing his wife, Melania, nor his girlfriend, Hope Hicks, to enter his own personal world of bitterness.
Hope says that she has been getting calls and text messages from her former boyfriend, Corey Lewandowsky, asking her to dump Trump the chump, and return to him, since Donald is nothing but a pathetic, lying loser.
Hicks did divulge that the President is not accepting defeat, and he has vowed to keep on holding his mask-less, Trumpapalooza virus-spreading campaign hate rallies.
Another White House insider noted that Ivanka is so depressed, her breasts have both broken out in hives.