Pelosi's “Biden will be president whatever the vote count” clarified as emission vs. sedition

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Sunday, 1 November 2020

image for Pelosi's “Biden will be president whatever the vote count” clarified as emission vs. sedition
Her limo driver: "I asked her did you mean WHENEVER? And she said, "Whatever."

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, has ripped open a new controversy on who might be fiddling with election results.

Last Thursday, she stated that Mr. Biden will be president come next January 21, “whatever the vote count.”

The key consideration here, according to Intelligence Experts, is the meaning of “whatever.”

This new verbal conundrum hearkens back to Mr. Clinton's historic remark: “That depends on what the meaning of is is.”

Intell Agent: “Ms. Pelosi, you do realize your comment implies Democrats are meddling with the upcoming election?”

“Similar to how you have maintained Mr. Trump colluded with Russia?”

“So, then, when you said 'whatever', did you mean a combination of the popular and the electoral vote? Or meddling?”

Ms. Pelosi: “Whatever.”

Pressed further on her possible meaning here, Ms. Pelosi had several provocative responses:

“The human brain is much like the digestive system. Certain elements are entered into it, which can lead to various expulsions, if you follow my meaning.”

“You mean what is sometimes called a 'brain'–ah I believe the word is . . .”


“Plus, I did not know that word was in my mask on that particular morning!”

Never at a loss, US Agents, in cooperation with Intelligence Units in the UK and Australia, have come up with extensive analysis of what is known as “brain gas”.

Emissions occur in three possible spheres of malfeasance:

SD (“silent but deadly”)

HO (“horrible but over with quickly”)

CAT (“criminal Assange type”)


Ms. Pelosi's statement that Mr. Biden will be president January 21st, whatever the vote count, has been designated a harmless case of SD with tinctures of HO, but definitely not CAT.

Plus, as Speaker of the House, she is fourth in line to assume the presidency, if needed, and whatever she meant by her remark must remain classified anyway.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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