NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Vox Populi News Agency has discovered that President Trump’s personal Twitter account has been hacked by the infamous Tapachula Hombres Drug Cartel.
The cartel, which is the biggest drug cartel in Central America, is led by Gomer Ixtantan, who is a self-taught billionaire attorney.
He also owns the Guatemala City Banananistas professional soccer team.
The VPNA revealed that the account was hacked by one of the greatest, most prolific hackers in the entire world.
The man, who goes by the name “El Ojo de Aguila” (Eagle Eye), said that it only took him 55 seconds to get into Trump’s account.
“El Ojo” divulged that he found that Trump owes money to 17 countries; including Russia, China, Iran, and Macadamia.
He also leraned that Trump is not worth $7 billion as he claims, but he is actually just worth $717,914 and some change.
Trump has also made hush money payments to at least 302 women going back to September of 1993.
But perhaps the most interesting info of all is that son Eric is actually adopted.
Eric’s biological father was actually a black semi-pro baseball player from Zimbabwe.