New York, NY - Tool News Service
According to the news wire, Jeffrey Toolbin has been promoted by The New Yorker and appointed as the moderator for the final Presidential Debate. Jeffrey “tool” Toobin has selected Michael Jackson’s Beat It as the theme and background music for the debate.
Jeffrey will be equipped with a mute button attached to his zipper. When he unzips, the President’s mic will be hot; when he zips, Biden’s mic will be hot.
If things get out of hand, Jeffrey will switch the video to his famous Zoom masturbation broadcast.
If things REALLY get out of hand, he will remove his pants and switch both audio and video to his tool, which he will work feverishly.