WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Many news agencies are reporting that President Trump knew he had the Coronavirus three days ago, and hid it from the American people, and the world.
A source inside the White House said that they were all sworn to secrecy, and told that if anyone leaked the info, they would be arrested and exiled to Guatemala.
Trump is so afraid of going to prison for his income tax shenanigans, that he put all of his Republican staff, and their families, in jeopardy of being exposed to his Trumpapalooza virus.
iRumors is reporting that Chinese leader Xi Jingping said that he warned Trump to stop calling it the Chinese virus and the Hong Kong Flu. He later texted the "Divider-in-Chief, a four-word message – Karma is a bitch.
POTUS made fun of Joe Biden for wearing a mask. He even had some of his own supporters thrown out of is campaign hate rallies, for wearing masks, and he slapped his least favorite child, Eric, when he caught him wearing a mask while playing a game of checkers with himself.
But the ever-defiant “Pied Piper of the Potomac” has really taken the cake, the pie, and the Big Macs, by telling his boyfriend, Sean Hannity, that he caught the Cornonapalooza virus from the Portland protesters.
Even Kellyanne Conway had the balls to finally tell her ex-boss that he knew it was a lie, and he really should try and find a way to somehow, maybe through extensive therapy, start trying to tell the effen truth.
The Chicago Wind newspaper wrote that Trump lies like LeBron James makes baskets.