WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – President Trump attended church services at Our Lady of The Perpetual Swamp - well, actually, he drove by the church on his way to get breakfast at McDonalds.
According to a White House insider, the President remarked to Melania that the most recent Potomatical Polls show him leading Biden by 67% to 23%.
Melania asked him if that wasn’t the same polling agency that said that Mount Rushmore was going to burn down before Labor Day.
As they were leaving the McDonalds drive-thru window, the President got a call from California Governor Gavin Newsom. He told him that California is in danger of possibly completely burning down.
The governor told POTUS that the Santa Ana winds are here, and they are going to make the situation much worse.
Trump told him that's precisely why he wanted the border wall built to keep those Santa Ana winds from crossing the border.
"What???" The governor asked.
The President reminded him that he told him, last year, that if he did not control the firefly population, those little sons-of-bitches were going to cause lots and lots of wildfires.
“Did you hear me Gavin?”