MOSCOW – (Satire News) – Russia’s national news agency, The Kremlin Voice, is reporting that President Vladimir Putin, is planning on making a major announcement.
According to a Kremlin insider, Putin has become very unhappy with President Trump, because he has fallen behind on his loan payments.
Chris Wallace, of Fox News, said that Trump borrowed $41 million from Russia, on behalf of the American people.
Putin told the Kremlin Voice that if his puppet (Trump) does not deposit $12 million into the Comrade Bank of Moscow within 48 hours, he will release the so-called “President Trump Pee-Pee” tape to CNN's Don Lemon.
When President Trump was asked about the infamous tape, he turned even more orange than he already is, and quickly said that he has had his urine checked six times since May, and the pee that is shown in the tape is not his.
Trump’s attorney, Segundo Juarez, told Chris Wallace that the (UCA) Uriniztic Causticistic Acidic number of the alleged pee is 3.002, where as Trump’s most recent UCA number is 3.003.
In a Related Matter: Former White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee told Melania Trump that, due to a yeast issue, she now has to pee standing up.