I didn’t pay my taxes?
I didn’t pay my dues
I didn’t sleep with hookers
It’s really all fake news
I didn’t cheat on spouses
I didn’t collude with Russians
My son-in-law certainly wasn’t involved
In Moscow-based discussions
I didn’t dodge the draft back then
I didn’t call heroes losers
I had a bone spur in my foot
And some very painful bruises
I didn’t call Mexicans rapists
I didn’t support white supremacists
Or lie about Obama’s birth
(He really is my nemesis)
I don’t do sexual misconduct
Or grab women where I shouldn’t
I never bragged about it, no
I really, really wouldn’t
I didn’t mock disability
Or try to stop investigations
I didn’t appoint my family
To represent this nation
I didn’t rig the election
And I won’t rig it this time
I’m a very stable genius
And I’ve never committed a crime
I’m not a playground bully
Or a self-obsessed spoilt brat
I’m just a liar who just loves lying
And a nasty, evil twat.
