ALLIGATOR NUTS, Florida – (Satire News) – President Trump speaking before a huge crowd at a Walgreens parking lot stunned the audience by making an amazing announcement.
Trump told the crowd that he has decided to cancel the upcoming 2020 presidential election.
He told his supporters that there is just too much cheating going on, on both sides, and both sides have good people, but his side has gooder people.
POTUS said that to save both Joe Biden and himself millions of dollars in campaign expenses, he will just simply do away with the election, which he says he has the power to do.
He was asked by a reporter for Fox News, if that was really legal.
DJT said that truth be told, he stopped worrying about if things were really legal or not a little over three years ago.
Senator Mitch McConnell heard the news and he yelled out, “That's great! And I know that my little Ling-Ling will be thrilled as hell to know that her 'Frog Face' will be holding on to his senatorial seat."
Meanwhile Senator Lindsey Graham, who was visiting an old boyfriend in San Francisco, simply remarked, “Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit.”