Beijing, China— Cops in China have seized more than 800,000 used condoms that had been boiled, dried and put up for sale, in a southern province. Chinese authorities traced the condoms to a small business in San Francisco California run by an old…
EAST LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) - FBI agents raided The Tsunami Tire Shop after getting a report that employees were producing counterfeit condoms and selling them at flea markets. Agent Gulliver J. Sorrento stated that the knock-off condoms look…
A company that manufactures and sells huge quantities of contraceptives, has issued an online warning about several batches of its product which were illegally manufactured by a rival company, and may be somewhat unreliable. The advert, which can…
The Center for Disease Control (“CDC”) has informed Americans that covering one’s face with a mask constructed from cloth, paper towels, or even toilet paper is acceptable, if one is in a position where one’s nose and mouth should be covered and a me...
CHICAGO – The Coronavirus has really changed the way a lot of people are doing a lot of things. People are having to shelter-in-place, self-isolate, stay home, hide in the closet, and practice safe-distancing. The Condom Council of North Americ...
It was high fives all round, as referee Mike Dean etched his name into the record books by becoming the first referee to show 100 red cards in the Premier League. Manchester United captain Ashley Young spoke to The Spoof afterwards. "I'm proud to hav...
Scientists in the UK are doing tests that can prove men using condoms actually handled them by finding their fingerprints, even after use (unless she puts it on)! This knowledge will be invaluable for tracking down rapists or flashers, who never u...
If you get hit with confetti ejaculated from a giant penis in Norway, you may have been STDed. The joke's on you, but it's no laughing matter. Unprotected sex can make your life as miserable as hell. It can also kill you as dead as a .44 magnum. I...
Galway, Eira - The head altar boy of the Romin Catlick church has written to Pope Francis complaining about blackmail and three spent condoms smeared with hysterical - uh, historical! - DNA. Seamus McShergar, 69, sent a heartfelt plea to the Aregn...
HOLLYWEIRD, CALIFORNICATE - Has-been "actor" Burt Reynolds, who has lived beyond his means for many years, is offering over 600 "personal items" to the highest bidder at an auction at the Palms Casino Resort in Sin City (a. k. a. "Las Vegas"). The...
Pope Francis this morning stated that it was permissible for Catholic Clowns to use blown up condoms to make poodles and other small animals out of them. "But no eroticism or use of French Ticklers ot glow-in-the-dark!" The Clowns were overjoye...
BEAN TOWN, MA -- Boston public schools have suspended the distribution of condoms-well some condoms. Specifically, officials will no longer provide, upon request, any condom that is packaged in a wrapper that encourage users to "hump one," advertises...
MILWAULKEE - The fans of the Milwaukee Bucks are starting to chant "Go Yucks" at their home games. Coach Larry Drew's team's record is a very dismal 8-37. The Bucks are in last place in the entire 30 team league. One fan who refused to give his...
NEW YORK CITY - National Focus Magazine is reporting that The Milky Way Prophylactic Company, which is based in Long Island, New York, has announced it newest product. Company spokesperson Richard "Dick" Tarsonberry spoke with NFM's Durango Tucker...
JACKSON, Mississippi - The senate of the state of Mississippi has just voted down a very controversial proposal. State Senator Roy LeRoy Witchboro [R-Pascagoula] spoke with National Focus Magazine and said that the debate on banning condoms within...
A company in Roanoke, Virginia has announced that they have a new "Vegan" condom they call "The Banana Peel" that is the perfect answer for vegans who want to to go natural but don't feel comfortable about wearing a lambskin. "We think we have a b...
WATERLOO, Iowa - The crowd at The Crop Rotation Convention Center in Waterloo fell in love with Wynonna Judd and her gallery of hit songs. After the concert Wynonna spoke with Buck Yazoo of Yippie-Ki-Yay Magazine in her $1.2 million customized tou...
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