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Funny satire stories about Condoms

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Mike Dean's 100 Red Cards, Celtic Prophylactic, Scotland Women, Togolese Referee Innocent

Football Gossip: Mike Dean's 100 Red Cards, Celtic Prophylactic, Scotland Women, Togolese Referee Innocent

It was high fives all round, as referee Mike Dean etched his name into the record books by becoming the first referee to show 100 red cards in the Premier League. Manchester United captain Ashley Young spoke to The Spoof afterwards. "I'm proud to hav...

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Funny story: Fingerprints on condoms can get you locked up!

Fingerprints on condoms can get you locked up!

Scientists in the UK are doing tests that can prove men using condoms actually handled them by finding their fingerprints, even after use (unless she puts it on)! This knowledge will be invaluable for tracking down rapists or flashers, who never u...

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Funny story: Crazy "Jackass"-like Norwegian PSA blasts young people for not adding a condom to their sexy times

Crazy "Jackass"-like Norwegian PSA blasts young people for not adding a condom to their sexy times

If you get hit with confetti ejaculated from a giant penis in Norway, you may have been STDed. The joke's on you, but it's no laughing matter. Unprotected sex can make your life as miserable as hell. It can also kill you as dead as a .44 magnum. I...

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Funny story: Vatican receives ransom note for missing French letters

Vatican receives ransom note for missing French letters

Galway, Eira - The head altar boy of the Romin Catlick church has written to Pope Francis complaining about blackmail and three spent condoms smeared with hysterical - uh, historical! - DNA. Seamus McShergar, 69, sent a heartfelt plea to the Aregn...

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Funny story: Get It While You Can: Burt Reynolds Sells Himself (Cheap!)

Get It While You Can: Burt Reynolds Sells Himself (Cheap!)

HOLLYWEIRD, CALIFORNICATE - Has-been "actor" Burt Reynolds, who has lived beyond his means for many years, is offering over 600 "personal items" to the highest bidder at an auction at the Palms Casino Resort in Sin City (a. k. a. "Las Vegas"). The...

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Funny story: Pope Francis Issues Approval For Condoms To Be Used For Entertainment

Pope Francis Issues Approval For Condoms To Be Used For Entertainment

Pope Francis this morning stated that it was permissible for Catholic Clowns to use blown up condoms to make poodles and other small animals out of them. "But no eroticism or use of French Ticklers ot glow-in-the-dark!" The Clowns were overjoye...

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Funny story: Parents object to condoms in sex ed lessons

Parents object to condoms in sex ed lessons

BEAN TOWN, MA -- Boston public schools have suspended the distribution of condoms-well some condoms. Specifically, officials will no longer provide, upon request, any condom that is packaged in a wrapper that encourage users to "hump one," advertises...

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Funny story: The Milwaukee Bucks Are The NBA's Cellar Dwellers

The Milwaukee Bucks Are The NBA's Cellar Dwellers

MILWAULKEE - The fans of the Milwaukee Bucks are starting to chant "Go Yucks" at their home games. Coach Larry Drew's team's record is a very dismal 8-37. The Bucks are in last place in the entire 30 team league. One fan who refused to give his...

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Funny story: Coming Soon: The iCondom

Coming Soon: The iCondom

NEW YORK CITY - National Focus Magazine is reporting that The Milky Way Prophylactic Company, which is based in Long Island, New York, has announced it newest product. Company spokesperson Richard "Dick" Tarsonberry spoke with NFM's Durango Tucker...

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Funny story: Mississippi Rejects The Bill That Would Have Banned Condoms

Mississippi Rejects The Bill That Would Have Banned Condoms

JACKSON, Mississippi - The senate of the state of Mississippi has just voted down a very controversial proposal. State Senator Roy LeRoy Witchboro [R-Pascagoula] spoke with National Focus Magazine and said that the debate on banning condoms within...

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Funny story: New Vegan Condom Available!

New Vegan Condom Available!

A company in Roanoke, Virginia has announced that they have a new "Vegan" condom they call "The Banana Peel" that is the perfect answer for vegans who want to to go natural but don't feel comfortable about wearing a lambskin. "We think we have a b...

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Funny story: Wynonna Judd Explains The Baby Bump

Wynonna Judd Explains The Baby Bump

WATERLOO, Iowa - The crowd at The Crop Rotation Convention Center in Waterloo fell in love with Wynonna Judd and her gallery of hit songs. After the concert Wynonna spoke with Buck Yazoo of Yippie-Ki-Yay Magazine in her $1.2 million customized tou...

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Funny story: Junior designer makes her own prom dress

Junior designer makes her own prom dress

FISHWIFE, MI - Diane McTease, a high school student from the northern Michigan town of Fishwife, had a swell idea for a prom dress as she watched her sexy sex-ed teacher, Ms. Tew Cute, demonstrate the proper way to unroll a latex condom over a cucumb...

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Funny story: Tiger Woods Signs A Condom Deal

Tiger Woods Signs A Condom Deal

JUPITER ISLAND, Florida - Golfing gigolo Tiger Woods has just announced that he has agreed to be the spokesman for a brand new line of condoms that will be available at drugstores, convenience stores, and retail stores throughout America within the m...

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Funny story: Bill Gates Funding New Condom Design

Bill Gates Funding New Condom Design

Bill Gates is funding a new condom design to be better and more comfortable than the old design. While enormously successful with previous ventures: computers and philanthropy, condom design may prove to be a greater challenge, sort of like: Can anyo...

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Funny story: Delaware Now Requires Condoms To Be Worn At All Times

Delaware Now Requires Condoms To Be Worn At All Times

DOVER, Delaware - The East Coast state of Delaware has just passed a bill that will require all males between the ages of 18 and 48 to wear condoms at all times. According to state spokesperson Pandora P. Hissyheimer, 61, the bill was passed due t...

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Funny story: Earth needs giant condom says UN Office for Outer Space Affairs, Flings, Bits-on-the-Side and One-Night Stands

Earth needs giant condom says UN Office for Outer Space Affairs, Flings, Bits-on-the-Side and One-Night Stands

New York - In a week dominated be Brits' meatier fears in the whorseflesh contamination scam and 'a steroid' attack on Southern Russia the UN's dedicated Outer Space Affairs agency says it's time to get tough on unprotected alien sex. "We need to...

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