PRICKLY PEAR, Arizona - (Satire News) - According to Tittle Tattle Tonight, the most hated bitch in the District of Columbia, Cong. Marjorie Taylor Greene has just put her used condom collection on eBay. MTG, says that she was told that she could…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The American Wrestling Federation has just reported that the new wrestling champ of America is 31-year-old Chief Buffalo Belly, who uses the wrestling name “The Last of The Mohicans.” The chief beat the very popluar…
FRANKFORT, Kentucky – (Satire News) – The governor of Kentucky, has just issued a Governor’s Mandate mandating that effective immediately the practice of rinsing out used condoms and reusing them will be stopped. Gov. Andy Beshear, stated to the p…
PHILADELPHIA – (Satire News) – The Rubberized Rubber Company of Philadelphia has informed the public that it will discontinue their line of pizza-flavored condoms. Lana D. Tinhaus, a spokeswoman for RRC stated that they decided on the move after r…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The nation’s leading prophylactic (condom) manufacturer has just announced a new condom that it has just put out on the market. The condom is extremely tiny and Trojan Horse representative Peter P. Pillowitz, 52, said tha…
US Male visitors frequenting 'ladies of the night' have started a protest movement against their privacy rights because the State of California has forbidden the removal of condoms during 'hot flings' with naughty ladies! Local Bordellos' have bee…
DES MOINES, Iowa - (Satire News) – Iowa’s Department of Statistics has stated that due to a tremendous increase in Iowans engaging in oral sex, condom sales have fallen drastically. One Evangelical male, Lollard Q. Fugfit, 83, excitingly said that…
“Stop medical tyranny.” - Real medical tyranny advised people to drink Clorox and Lysol, but Republicans never said peep over that. So who needs a vaccine anyway? Well, who goes into a battle without a rifle? The Covid pandemic is a battle. A…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – Experts in the weather field are extremely concerned after analytical computers have revealed that this year’s ninth named hurricane is predicted to strike Idaho. Hurricane Ida has been forecast by 6 different hurricane p…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki, has just announced that the government will no longer charge taxes on prophylactics aka condoms, rubbers, raincoats, etc. She noted that President Biden in an effort to get…
OKLAHOMA CITY – (Satire News) – After receiving thousands of complaints in emails, text messages, Instagrams, and phone calls, the Oklahoma state legislature has voted to ban ribbed condoms by a vote of 57 to 43. State Senator Barkston F. Goldensi…
The newest style craze sweeping across Europe has now hit the United States! You might say the full body condom is a style born out of necessity to suit our current social climate. While the style is certainly practical it surely gives fashion consci…
Beijing, China— Cops in China have seized more than 800,000 used condoms that had been boiled, dried and put up for sale, in a southern province. Chinese authorities traced the condoms to a small business in San Francisco California run by an old…
EAST LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) - FBI agents raided The Tsunami Tire Shop after getting a report that employees were producing counterfeit condoms and selling them at flea markets. Agent Gulliver J. Sorrento stated that the knock-off condoms look…
A company that manufactures and sells huge quantities of contraceptives, has issued an online warning about several batches of its product which were illegally manufactured by a rival company, and may be somewhat unreliable. The advert, which can…
The Center for Disease Control (“CDC”) has informed Americans that covering one’s face with a mask constructed from cloth, paper towels, or even toilet paper is acceptable, if one is in a position where one’s nose and mouth should be covered and a me...
CHICAGO – The Coronavirus has really changed the way a lot of people are doing a lot of things. People are having to shelter-in-place, self-isolate, stay home, hide in the closet, and practice safe-distancing. The Condom Council of North Americ...
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