Former president George W Bush (“W”) has surprisingly endorsed Kanye West for president. In a lengthy interview, the 43rd president explained his logic. W, as he’s known, can be a bit long-winded, so we will begin with his thoughts on Biden and cover his thoughts on Trump in a later posting.
Q: “Why Kanye?”
W: “My endorsement is a protest endorsement, and my vote for Kanye will be a protest vote.”
Q: “Can you explain,”
W: "The American people are faced with an abysmal choice that is even worse than the one they had last time around. Both dudes [Biden and Trump] are pretty messed up, and I honestly don’t which one is likely to do the most damage, so I’m not supporting either one of them.”
Q: “You’ve made your displeasure with Trump known so why not support someone who’s been around for forty years and has generally been reasonable?”
W: “Let me tell you: Joe never was too bright, and he’s losing what little he had. Biden reminds me of my Uncle Joe. We called him Lech. He used to grab women, but he mostly kept things in check until he hit 80. Then he started grabbing at everything that moved. Had to get him male nurses.
Mark my words: In a few years, the poor guy [Biden] will be in a diaper, and he’ll keep Saturday Night Live busy with his grabbing and his gaffes.
That won’t be funny for long. Just imagine him grabbing Maxine Waters or Nancy Pelosi on national TV. Something like that wouldn’t surprise me at all.”
Q: “I understand Biden’s cognitive decline. But won’t he surround himself with some very smart advisors.”
W: “That doesn’t work”
Q: “Can you go into a little more detail on that?”
W: “Well, when people was encouraging me to run for president, I told Mom that I didn’t think I was smart enough. She said: ‘Georgie Boy, you’re a good person and that is what America needs right now. You aren’t gonna have any interns sucking on your Johnson.’ You can always surround yourself with plenty of brains.’
So that’s what I did with people like Rumsfeld and Cheyney, and, as we all know, it didn’t work out too well."
Q: “Last question before we move on to Trump. Can you see any positives coming out of a Biden Presidency?”
W: “We’d be rid of Trump.”
Q: “Anything else?”
W: “Yeah, people used to say that it’d be fifty years before we got another president as bad as me. That’s already been proven wrong, and Biden will prove it again.”