NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - The founder of the biggest anti-Trump organization in the country has just informed the National Enquirer that he has found a picture of Trump’s high school girlfriend.
George Conway learned through a private investigator, that the Donald and Roberta Lulingboro, dated all throughout Trump’s junior year, when he was one of the school’s cheerleaders.
“Bobbi Cakes” as Trump called his high school sweetheart, was a member of the school's band, where she played the glockenspiel.
One of the President’s teachers stated that Donnie and Bobbi were inseparable, playing golf at least three or four times a week.
The teacher noted that, even back then, Donnie was a very prolific liar. He told one of the school janitors that he had hit a homerun with “Bobbi Cakes”, when he knew full-well he barely even got to second base.
Roberta Lulingboro eventually broke up with Trump because she said he used to carry around a hand mirror, and was forever combing his orange-colored hair.