After gallivanting around the beaches of Florida, coronavirus strain HKU1 was disappointed to find itself in South Dakota. After hitching a ride on a young party animal who was travelling with college pals, HKU1 was distressed to find out that it had returned home with him to Pierre, a city of under 14,000 residents.
"What the hell, man!" the hacked-off virus was quoted as saying. "How am I supposed to mutate and spread in this dumpy hamlet?"
After having had its way with thousands upon thousands of reckless revelers in the beautiful environment of white sandy beaches, the virus was rightfully distraught to discover that its current destination was a bit less glamorous.
Chosen for its centralized location within the barren state, Pierre is literally located in the middle of nowhere. With very little else to do in the state, other than be outside, it seemed that this specific strain of the virus was likely to be at the end of its spread. However, HKU1 was hopeful that it might make it to Mount Rushmore.
"I heard there is some sort of Trump rally there, so if I can make it there for that, I'm pretty sure I can make a break for the west coast."
The virus expressed optimism that, should it make it to the rally, very few people will be wearing masks, which would give it a better shot at transferring itself.
"I saw a MAGA hat in his old man's closet, so I like my chances," HKU1 explained.
Should it be stuck in South Dakota, the virus had made alternative plans." Maybe I can mutate to infect bison," the virus mused.