BISON BUTT, Montana (Fake News) – The president traveled to Montana on Air Force One to play a round of golf with a very, very rich businessman who had donated $4 million to his re-election campaign.
While shooting golf with M.F. Brewbergen, who is the owner of Brewbergen Crop Rotating Tractors, he told reporters that M.F. is now his brand new BFF.
When he was asked if Brewbergen would now be replacing Putin in the BFF category, POTUS smiled, and said, “Oh, yes, unless Vlady can come up with a $5 million donation."
Trump was asked about the fact that George Conway’s Lincoln Project now has over 19 million, dues-paying members, who all want him out of the White House quicker than it takes a drop of rain to evaporate in the Sahara Desert.
The man who has over 669 nicknames, at last count, became very upset, turned burnt orange, and actually had some spit come out of the right side of his mouth.
He then made it clear that his number one goal is no longer the economy, health care, Barron's college fund, the Coronavirus pandemic, or the shortage of toilet paper.
He puffed out his overweight body, and said that his number one priority, before he leaves the White House in January, is to deport every last member of the anti-Trump group, the Lincoln Project.
He then added that he hates to do it, but his top adviser, Kellyanne Conway’s husband will soon have a new address: 123 Polar Bear Lane, in Siberia.