SQUIRREL NUTS, West Virginia – Willie and Billie Peckerpucker say that, due to the Coronapalooza virus, they have not been able to work at their coal mining jobs for three months.
Willie said they each get $47 a week unemployment, but, after they pay for Netflix, beer, cigarettes, and shotgun shells, there’s hardly any money left to buy baloney and crackers.
Billie pointed out they can’t even afford to buy medical masks, so they decided to make their own out of two old discarded watermelons.
The older Peckerpucker said that, once you put the watermelon mask on, it takes about an hour or so to get over the horrible smell, but once you do, it’s a piece of cake.
Billie divulged that his pregnant girlfriend of seven months, Melinda Jo, suddenly left him without any warning whatsoever.
He laughs as he says that it’s her loss, because one day he’s gonna get a job, as a head fry cook at the local Mickey D’s.