The New England Patriots Plane Travels To China and Returns with N95 Medical Masks, Fortune Cookies, and Frozen Crab Rangoon Dinners

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 3 April 2020

image for The New England Patriots Plane Travels To China and Returns with N95 Medical Masks, Fortune Cookies, and Frozen Crab Rangoon Dinners
The New England Patriots plane taking off from Shenzhen, China, bound for Boston.

BOSTON – New England Patriots owner, Robert Kraft, is being hailed as a hero in his home state of Massachusetts, the birth state of Paul Revere, Edgar Allan Poe, and Tarzan.

The Boston Addresser-Chronicle reports that Kraft talked to Chinese leader, Xi Jinping, and after 17 minutes, the two were able to work out a trade deal.

Kraft stated that China would be sending 1.1 million N95 medical masks, along with 2.7 million fortune cookies, and 310,000 individual servings of Crab Rangoon Frozen Dinners to the United States.

And, in return, Kraft would be sending China 193,000 bottles of Kraft Thousand Island Dressing, 8,000 blocks of Kraft Cheese the size of car batteries, and the extremely secretive ingredients that go into making Coca Cola.

Kraft, who had a bit of a masseuse issue, not too long ago, said that he feels that this trade deal is a win-win proposition for all involved, including his live-in girlfriend Lolita “Yum-Yum” Yamaguchi, 27.

The Patriots owner was asked if he is still upset that Tom Brady left for greener and more sunny pastures in Tampa Bay.

The 78-year-old Kraft shook his head, and simply replied, “If I’m being honest, I'd have to say that I miss Gisele much more than I miss Tommy.”

Tom’s wife Gisele Bundchen-Brady, was, in 2016, voted the second prettiest NFL football wife on the ‘right coast’.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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