ST. LOUIS – Newspapers are reporting that the gun-toting couple from St. Louis, who feared for their lives as protesters marched in front of their dreary, evil-looking, castle-like home, are reportedly still shaking.
The woman, Patty “Cake” McCloskey, who could use a trip to the hair saloon, told Fox News reporter, LaTella Kimtula, that she was afraid that the protesters were going to douse her with apple vinegar, and set her on fire, like the French bakers did to Joanie of Arches, 900 years ago.
Her husband, Markus, who allegedly has a tattoo of Donald Trump on his beer belly, said that he knows that at least four or nine of the protesters were carrying grenade-launchers.
He said he even saw one that had a mini-catapult.
When Trump saw them on TV, he immediately texted them and invited them to become a part of his presidential campaign pep rallies.
The news media has dubbed the self-professed crackers "Bonnie & Clyde".