Most Republican Farmers Say That They Would Vote For a Milk Cow Before They’d Vote for Trump Again

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Saturday, 16 May 2020

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Soybean farmer, Dusty Saltspoon, a life-long Republican says he will be voting for Joe Biden in November.

WATERLOO, Iowa – There are an awful lot of angry and upset farmers in the “Fly-Over” state of Iowa.

Iowa is famous for corn, tractors, soybeans, and blandness.

The St. Louis Outlooker News conducted a poll of farmers who had voted for Trump in 2016.

And the results were shocking. A full 91% said that they would not vote for Trump again under any circumstances.

One soybean farmer, Dusty Saltspoon, said that he knows several fellow farmers who say that they would rather vote for a milk cow, than for the acting president, who is a worse actor than even Chow Mein Squickanello.

Saltspoon went on to say that he and his wife of 41 years, Brenda Yolanda, recently took all of their Trump political items, such as their MAGA caps, their GOP tank tops, and their matching Trump boxer shorts, and burned them.

Mrs. Saltspoon revealed that she hopes that Don Lemon, Jake Tapper, or Rachel Maddow come out with a rumor that Trump is having an affair with his ex-communications director, Hope “The Babe” Hicks.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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