WICHITA, Kansas - (Spoof News) - The state that is known for the best sorghum muffins in the country has announced that effective at 12:01 am tomorrow, the use of the word "Bitch" in the state's pole dancing lounges will not be allowed. The Kansas…
WIZARD OF OZ, Kansas - (Satire News) - Kansas farmer, Oleander F. Window, 58, says that he has been raising egg-laying hens for over 37 years. He pointed out that he has seen lots of unusual things, from a Rhode Island Red hen that will lay seven…
TOPEKA, Kansas – (Satire News) – The Kansas state senate has just enacted a law that prohibits lesbionics (lesbians) from engaging in “Third Base Sex.” Senator Myrtle Fannadurdle, 73, [R-Wichita], stated that the bill was passed to show the lesbos…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – Weather experts are now stating that the gigantic meteor which was scheduled to hit Alabama in March will not hit the cotton-pickin’ state after all. Weather expert, and collector of foreign adult toys, Toby Prixsteen, ha…
(NOT EDITED) JOPLIN, Missouri – (Satire News) – A survey taken by professors at Left Coast College in Carpinteria, California, found that in Fly-By-States such as Iowa, Kansas, and Missouri, lots of shy citizens refuse to use the name horny toad, due…
TOPEKA, Kansas – (Satire News) – The Kansas state legislature has just announced that they have voted to ban a phrase that was offensive to many Kansans who are gay. The phrase is ‘Christmas elves are fairies’. The amendment known as Fairies 41…
WICHITA, Kansas – (Spoof News) - A corn farmer, whose farm is located seven miles west of Wichita, has informed the local authorities about a strange-as-hell happening. Max Wafer, 63, told a reporter with Fox News, that as he was rotating the crop…
TOPEKA, Kansas – Several wheat farmers in the state of Kansas have informed the news media that they are discovering that their scarecrows are no longer doing the job of scaring crows. Wendell Woodbread, of Grain Gulch, Kansas, said that he has be…
Mr Lawrence Ripple (Name not changed for legal reasons; this story is just so ridiculous it's true!) from Kansas, USA, decided to rob a local bank; not because he was destitute, bankrupt or just wanted to escape Trump bullshit, no! He robbed the b...
Topeka, KS (Kansas City Star) - The Kansas state House of Representatives is currently debating bill HB666 that would at its essence require all dairy cows in the state to wear a brassiere. The bill was introduced by Representative Prudence Uptight,...
CODY, Wyoming - Officials at Yellowstone National Park are extremely puzzled at how in the world a Yellowstone rhinoceros ended up in Goodland, Kansas. The rhino named Randy was really in good shape except that he had worn his hooves down pretty b...
WATERLOO, Iowa - Three Midwest states have just given notice that they are officially banning Lady Gaga from performing in their states. A spokesperson for Iowa stated that Lady Gaga's Vomit Act, which she performed at the SXSW Festival in Austin...
TOPEKA, Kansas - After the governor of Kansas received several petitions asking that marijuana be legalized in the state he decided to put the matter into the hands of the Kansas Senate. State Senator Magenta Quakerquill [R-Wichita], staunchly opp...
The residents of Dullard Kansas have a new business in town, The Red Garter Daycamp and Childrens Self Discovery Center. The Center owned and operated by 24 year old Sugar Kane formerly of Kansas City Missouri, opened its doors on Monday and the kid...
TOPEKA, Kansas - The recent news item about Miley Cyrus trying to French kiss Katy Perry kicked up renewed interest in the Kansas state senate. The matter had been proposed by Senator Magenta Quakerquill [R-Wichita] but it had been delegated to th...
TOPEKA, Kansas - Vice-President Joe Biden traveled to Topeka, Kansas to speak at a convention of The Retired Hay Stackers of Kansas. After talking to the estimated 217 retirees, he was asked by one of the press members about the rumor that he and...
TOPEKA, Kansas - After receiving dozens of petitions with thousands and thousands of names, the governor of Kansas has decided that singer Miley Cyrus will not be allowed in the state. Governor Sam Brownback said that the nice, decent, honorable c...
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