Black Lives Matter Targets English Towns With 'White' In Their Name

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 28 June 2020

image for Black Lives Matter Targets English Towns With 'White' In Their Name
Crowds gathering outside Whitehead's gaffe earlier

As the Black Lives Matter caravan careers on and on, with, seemingly, no limit as to where it might end up, there has been unrest in hundreds of locations in England whose names contain the word 'White'.

Demonstrations, protests, riots, looting, and attacks on statues whose subjects were deemed to be connected with the slave trade, have had their effects, and the momentum achieved shows no sign of slowing up.

Protestors in Whitechapel, in south London - home of seasoned musician, Jah Wobble, and of well-known literary figure, Clive Danton - carried banners and shouted slogans calling for the name of the district to be renamed Allchapel.

In Cumbria, close to the home of another writer, Erskin Quint, the townsfolk of Whitehaven roused themselves from their sleepy existences to complain to local council officials that the town was 'a haven for all', not just for whites.

They demanded the town's moniker be changed to Allhaven.

Similar scenes were experienced in many other towns across the country.

Whitehall in London was besieged by demonstrators marching to the Houses of Parliament, demanding action there.

But other groups of protestors from the Burnley headquarters of White Lives Matter turned up in nearby Blackburn and Blackpool, highlighting disparity in those places. Blackrod, near Bolton, also came in for criticism.

In a related incident, Blackpool fatso, Duncan Whitehead, had a bottle of milk smashed on his doorstep.

His milkman, who is from Pakistan, is being sought by police.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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