Trump: Last President of The Confederacy

Written by Keith Shirey

Sunday, 14 June 2020

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Trump prays for the return of Confederate values

The Washington Post’s esteemed opinion columnist, Eugene Robinson, has written that Donald Trump may be the Old Confederacy’s last president.

As if to prove him correct, Trump today, by executive decree, ordered that all statues and other important artifacts of the Old Confederacy be considered “National Treasurers of the United States and therefore not subject to removal nor other forms of defacement.” Trump called them "sacred objects".

Trump also condemned NASCAR for prohibiting drivers to display the confederate flag, and repeated his desire that U.S. military bases remain named after confederate generals. He also suggested that, if a base must be renamed, the name of Benedict Arnold be considered.

Trump further ordered that the U.S. military should wear the uniforms of the Confederate States of America. He said, “The grey uniforms look better, snappier, than boring blue and dull camouflage.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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