Washington D.C. - White House staffers have told reporters that the President has been stockpiling some pretty raunchy reading material for his Presidential Library, which will be constructed at his birthplace, which records show was a steaming cesspool of industrial waste, on the north side of the Jersey Turnpike.
"Yeah, he's been very, very busy on this issue. I'd say it's been like his number one priority lately," said a white house staffer, who wished to remain anonymous because of the vengeful temper tantrums her boss is known to throw several times a day.
"He's kinda going through a 'big asses' phase right now, and has been stuffing most of the bathrooms on the second floor with a lot of that material. Most of it from Eastern Europe, but some real nasty stuff from the South too.
"His happiest days are when a new issue of "Junk In The Trunk" comes out. It's a smaller publication, but very popular with the hardcore fanatics. He says each issue will get it's own glass case in the foyer of his library.
"He's still looking for an original pristine 'unsticky' copy of the first edition. Which are almost impossible to find. If anyone out there has one, you'd really make every staffers day, probably our year.
"Pompeo was made Secretary of State because he found the boss a second edition with only five pages missing!"
The library, which will start to be built as soon as Trump is voted out of office this November will feature over 100 bathrooms, 40 stripper poles and a collection of underwear from all of the hookers the President has hired over the years.
"Melania included!" tells our staffer. "Yeah, you can't leave out the big Kahuna!"
"Don't plan a visit and expect to be able to take any of the material home with you though," explained our secret staffer. "Or even be able to touch the magazines. They will be strictly off limits.
"When we tried to explain to the President how a library usually works, he just stuck his fingers in his ears and yelled 'mine, mine, mine, mine, mine' until we left the room."
