There are more cows and sheep than people in New Zealand. And those animals (not the people) have been getting a free ride for too long. Get ready for the ass tax! Greenhouse gas emission, especially methane, from the assholes of cows and the b…
(NOT EDITED) In these quite desperate times, you know what I mean, a group of Dutch scientists decided to look at human intelligence compared to sheep's intelligence. They spent weeks and months studying sheep in the flatlands covering Holland. They…
BILLINGSGATE POST: It didn’t have to be this way. But Elmer Smuckmeister finally gave in to his inner-self. After years of trying to court the available ladies in Beaver Crossing, he threw in the towel. Elmer got down on one knee and proposed to L...
Conservative Minister, Regine Changer, has told reporters from the Chutney on the Fritz Times that, since lockdown began, no reports of sheep-worrying have bothered the desk of local policeman, Donald Plod. The bearded policeman spoke at the press…
With some derogatorily categorizing the swathes of Americans paralyzed in blind, terrified acceptance of whatever the mainstream media tells them regarding the threat posed by COVID-19 as "sheeple," actual sheep are objecting to being lumped in with...
It was a rainy day as I pulled into Mr Warner's back lot. I could see his pet hawk, Howard, perched on a branch near the mailbox. I wondered how he could get any directing jobs with all those feathers. I went to the door of the Sternmud Mansion.
Ramblers strolling the rolling hills of the Yorkshire Dales expecting to experience the legacies of the Bronte Sisters, Heathcliffe, James Herriot, and the Yorkshire Ripper,(Yes there are tourists who love a bit of bloody Yorkshire horror too with th...
A sheep farm near, York UK, has hit the headlines after a lamb born with five legs was heading for the butcher's bench, but instead it did a runner! The lamb was then caught by a passing vet who thought it was quite odd seeing a rather wobbly five...
After years of planting double agent sleepers in the Australian government, the plans to invade appear to have succeeded. With now 69 parliamentarians and senators being exposed has having dual Australian and New Zealand citizenship, they are maki...
Two friends, Abbott and Connor, enjoyed fabulous careers as sheep herders for over 50 years. The friends, who just turned 70, teamed up with a documentary filmmaker and made a film about their experiences. According to both, they are able to fully...
Chris the overgrown Australian sheep has been keeping shaggers at bay by growing a wooly protection outfit that was beyond belief! Sheep shaggers and shearers were having a rather perspiring time whilst attempting to make Chris naked, however, he...
Tests carried out by Anthropologists trying to cheer up the population of rain sodden Wales have revealed that whatever happens to Venezuelans, they come up smiling and have an unshakable belief that things will get better. The controversial tests...
A new high speed rail link between Treorchy and Craig - Y Llyn in Glamorgan has been approved. Development of the provision of transport to Wales' Heritage sites and in particular places of post-glacial phytological significance has been a priority...
Albuquerque, NM - New Mexico's bighorn sheep will be outfitted with chic new collars, complete with miniature radio receivers in a desperate attempt to keep the endangered animals from becoming extinct. An "army" of scientific researchers, equipped w...
Archaeologists have uncovered the remains of a medieval "Beast Market", the equivalent of a modern day Farmer's Market beneath a demolished Satanic Mill in the Kirkgate area. The find is classed as 23b (mundane) in significance. "This find will br...
Question: How much money does a sheepherder make? Answer: Just enough to buy oil for my oil burning lantern and a sack of flour for making biscuits. Question: Why sheep? Answer: Why not? Question: How do you stand the loneliness? Answer: I serenade the sheep with my squeeze box, which attracts coyotes that howl along. I'm never lonely in the wild. Question: Which is smart...
Dozens of sheep have staged a protest in central Cardiff to protest against the "meat market" of the pornography industry, as adult entertainment executives attended a National Sheep shagging summit in Llandudno. Dressed as butchers and smeared with...
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