Reporting for Vogue Magazine from Paris, France.
Chanel, the world's leading perfume maker will launch a new line of perfumes that reflect our new world order. According to Chanel executives, the new line of perfumes will be called, L'Amor Avec Hand Sanitizer (Love with Hand Sanitizer). Chanel expects the product will be in stores by June 1, and on-line by late May.
Chanel CEO, Alain Wertheimer, appeared before a crowd of masked reporters to promote their latest product. "Coronavirus creates a new market for us. Entirely new opportunities. A new global market, I am thrilled," said Wertheimer.
According to Wertheimer, whether you are at home, work, the store, or in the bedroom, L'Amor Avec Hand Sanitizer is for you. "Let's say you want "special" attention. Just put a few drops of L'Amor Avec Hand Sanitizer behind your ear, neck, thighs, or wherever, and the tiger in your man will come roaring out. In today's environment, this is a better aphrodisiac than viagra! "
Mr Wertheimer explained that Chanel is working on a male companion. "Making a cologne for men is difficult because women value safety more than men. But Chanel understands women so we shall name the cologne "Homme Sans Virus", which is Virus-free Man, in English."
Chanel's announcement sent their stock soaring, from $37.28 per share to $48.57. Jim Cramer, of Mad Money on CNBC, was extremely bullish on the stock,"...you gotta own this stock. Buy Chanel and sell Pfizer, the makers of Viagra. That's yesterday's love potion."