Supreme Court Issues Decision Using Limerick Format

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Saturday, 4 April 2020

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BILLINGSGATE POST: Breaking a long-standing precedent, the United States Supreme Court has decided to issue the Kaczynski vs Lewinsky decision in the form of a limerick. Historically, this has been done only in Ireland, back in the 12th Century. The Solicitor General has notified the Court that, in the future, no opinions will be accepted unless they are pithily written in acceptable limerick form.

With Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg writing the majority opinion in which she, Chief Justice John Roberts, Associate Justices Stephen Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan agreed, the following majority decision was made:

We have ruled Lewinsky is no ho
Because "is" does not include fellatio
Therefore, we have concluded that
Since Kaczynski's letters went splat
He must serve life in the hoosegow.

The dissenting opinion written by Associate Justice Clarence Thomas, writing for Associate Justices, Neil Korsuch, Brett Kavanaugh and Samuel Alito:

We dissenters have agreed this to be true
After arguing until our faces turned blue
The cases were hereto linked
In both instances there was a dink
Therefore, Monica was a ho, through and through.

Slim: “Much more concise language using limerick format.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Ecologically speaking; many trees will be saved.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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