A Woman Becomes Pregnant While Waiting in Line at an Arkansas Walmart

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 31 March 2020

image for A Woman Becomes Pregnant While Waiting in Line at an Arkansas Walmart
This is the Hot Springs Walmart where the Lazenby molestation incident allegedly occurred.

HOT SPRINGS, Arkansas – A Walmart security guard with 17 years experience, said he saw a very unusual thing while on night duty at a local Walmart.

Security guard, Fabian Gribble, told the local authorities that a woman, who said her name was Betsy Belle Lazenby, said she dozed off while she was standing in line to get into the store to buy toilet paper, M&Ms, and tampons.

Lazenby said that, when she awoke, her hair was disheveled, and her jogging shorts were on backwards.

After she got home, she did the home pregnancy test, and she learned that she was pregnant.

The 29-year-old unmarried woman said that she was shocked, since she had not been intimate with anyone in 17 days.

Meanwhile, when the security guard checked out the surveillance tape, he noticed that Miss Lazenby had, in fact, been fully molested as she waited in line.

The Hot Springs Police Department is said to be looking for a man in his late 40s, about 272 pounds, and wearing a Bill Cosby mask.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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