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Funny satire stories about Shopping

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Funny story: Shoe Shop For People With One Foot Now Open

Shoe Shop For People With One Foot Now Open

A shoe shop that caters exclusively for people with one leg, or rather, with one foot, has opened its doors to the general public, or rather, that section of the general public that has only one foot. The Landmine Footwear Emporium deals specific…

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Funny story: London store Arrods adopts foolproof 'Social Distancing' method

London store Arrods adopts foolproof 'Social Distancing' method

Whilst most shops have followed the pattern of placing tape on the ground two metres apart to ensure customers' safety, London's Arrods has adopted a different approach. Customer Service Manager, Cedric Posher-Thanyew, explained. "We found that th…

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Funny story: Napoleon Bonaparte spotted at Walmart

Napoleon Bonaparte spotted at Walmart

He was last seen being placed in a coffin sometime in the 1820s but in an amazing moment a shopper at Walmart in Washington, DC., has positively identified the former Emperor of France, Napoleon Bonaparte, making his way through the aisles. Author…

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Funny story: Looters Complain About Macy's Return Policy

Looters Complain About Macy's Return Policy

BILLINGSGATE POST: War is Hell. To the Victor belong the spoils...Blah, Blah and more Blah. Alexander the Great wasn’t called “Great” because he loved children and dogs. Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun struck fear into the hearts of the peoples of W…

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Funny story: Even MORE Stuff from the Progressive Shoppers’ Mart – The Premier E-tailing Site for Enlightened Ideologues

Even MORE Stuff from the Progressive Shoppers’ Mart – The Premier E-tailing Site for Enlightened Ideologues

You’ve demanded it, and here it is! We’ve been out scrounging around second-hand elitist boutiques, digging through Deep-State detritus dumps, and raiding the dustbins of those radical trendsetters whose stuff we know you crave. So, don’t delay! O…

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Funny story: Black Lives Matter Forces The Supermarket Chain Winn-Dixie to Change It’s Name

Black Lives Matter Forces The Supermarket Chain Winn-Dixie to Change It’s Name

JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Bowing to pressure from the national organization known as Black Lives Matter, a representative for the Southern supermarket chain has announced a corporate name change. Winn-Dixie will be dropping the name Dixie and adding…

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Funny story: People flocking to Waterstones to buy Fifty Shades of Grey

People flocking to Waterstones to buy Fifty Shades of Grey

As the shops begin to re-open, Waterstones have admitted, as has been the case for a while now, that people are only buying copies of Fifty Shades of Grey, rather than anything else. Bookseller, Paige Turner, told us: 'Yes, people are just buying…

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Funny story: Man still lost in Ikea

Man still lost in Ikea

A man who has been missing since the beginning of the lockdown is thought to be still lost in a West Midlands branch of Ikea. Ladies man, Brian Asshat, was just looking for some Billy Bookcases, and some picture frames, but hasn't been seen on the…

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Funny story: Bookcases Flying Off The Shelves

Bookcases Flying Off The Shelves

As millions of Brits face an uncertain future over jobs, one sector appears to have ‘booked’ the trend. Sales of bookcases have rocketed during the Coronavirus crisis, as TV interviewees look to outdo each other with their stay-at-‘tome’ reading m…

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Funny story: Man Was Wearing Facemask Back-To-Front

Man Was Wearing Facemask Back-To-Front

A man who was just trying to do the right thing, and protect other people from the possible cross-infection of the Coronavirus, has told how staff and other shoppers laughed at him for wearing his facemask back-to-front. Moys Kenwood, 56, arrived...

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Funny story: A Woman Becomes Pregnant While Waiting in Line at an Arkansas Walmart

A Woman Becomes Pregnant While Waiting in Line at an Arkansas Walmart

HOT SPRINGS, Arkansas – A Walmart security guard with 17 years experience, said he saw a very unusual thing while on night duty at a local Walmart. Security guard, Fabian Gribble, told the local authorities that a woman, who said her name was Bets...

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Funny story: President Trump Impersonator Arrested

President Trump Impersonator Arrested

A man accused of attempting to impersonate the US president, Donald Trump, has been arrested by police in Washington, DC. The man, whose true identity has not yet been established, was apprehended in the Safeway supermarket in Fairlington, where h...

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Funny story: Mauricio Pochettino Spotted In Manchester Trafford Centre Buying Household Items

Mauricio Pochettino Spotted In Manchester Trafford Centre Buying Household Items

Shoppers at Manchester's Trafford Centre retail complex became excited this afternoon, after former Tottenham Hotspur manager, Mauricio Pochettino, was seen with his wife, shopping for bed linen. He was also carrying some towels and two cushions.

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Funny story: Black Friday Is On A Friday Again

Black Friday Is On A Friday Again

Black Friday, the one day in the calendar year that can be relied upon to send all obsessive shoppers into a frenzy, can also be counted on in another way - it's always on a Friday! Held on the very next day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday can al...

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Funny story: President Trump Says Statistics Do Not Support Concerns Over Shopping Mall Mass Shootings

President Trump Says Statistics Do Not Support Concerns Over Shopping Mall Mass Shootings

President Trump has said that Americans are "worrying unnecessarily" about guns, and says statistics prove they are not likely to die as a result of some nut shooting them down in a bloody killing spree in a shopping mall. The president's mind was...

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Funny story: Marks & Spencer Store Closure Will Leave Man's Mother 'Nowhere' To Buy Her Knickers

Marks & Spencer Store Closure Will Leave Man's Mother 'Nowhere' To Buy Her Knickers

The permanent closure today of one of the most popular clothes shopping stores in one city's history, has presented a local woman with a huge problem in her underwear department. The store in Hull's Whitefriargate has traded in the city since befo...

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Funny story: Iceland launches new low cost cryonics service

Iceland launches new low cost cryonics service

Frozen food retailer Iceland took the lucrative cryonics industry by surprise today with the launch of a low cost service for those wishing to freeze their body, or parts of it, for the future. Marketed under the brand name 'Super-Chill', the serv...

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