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Funny satire stories about Shopping

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Funny story: Marks & Spencer Store Closure Will Leave Man's Mother 'Nowhere' To Buy Her Knickers

Marks & Spencer Store Closure Will Leave Man's Mother 'Nowhere' To Buy Her Knickers

The permanent closure today of one of the most popular clothes shopping stores in one city's history, has presented a local woman with a huge problem in her underwear department. The store in Hull's Whitefriargate has traded in the city since befo...

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Funny story: Iceland launches new low cost cryonics service

Iceland launches new low cost cryonics service

Frozen food retailer Iceland took the lucrative cryonics industry by surprise today with the launch of a low cost service for those wishing to freeze their body, or parts of it, for the future. Marketed under the brand name 'Super-Chill', the serv...

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Funny story: Debenhams Hull Store To Remain Open, Much To The Relief Of Man's Mother

Debenhams Hull Store To Remain Open, Much To The Relief Of Man's Mother

There was relief in one Hull household earlier today, when it was revealed that the city's Debenhams store was not on a list of 22 stores targeted for closure during 2020. The news was 'music to the ears' of Val Kenwood, 82, who goes to the Debenh...

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Funny story: Traffic Violations on the Rise in Wal Mart Stores

Traffic Violations on the Rise in Wal Mart Stores

When electric carts made their debut in Wal Mart stores years ago, much of the public viewed them as a compassionate convenience for those with serious mobility issues. Today public opinion seems to be turning against cart-going patrons. Don't get...

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Funny story: Consumers Frustrated by Lack of Celebrity Chef-Branded Foods on Supermarket Shelves

Consumers Frustrated by Lack of Celebrity Chef-Branded Foods on Supermarket Shelves

Chicago - According to focus groups conducted by the Grocery Manufacturers Association in Chicago, supermarket consumers are most dissatisfied with the shortage of food products available that are endorsed by celebrity chefs like Emeril Lagasse, Wolf...

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Funny story: City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing

City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing

The value of being selected as the UK City of Culture has been proven beyond all shadow of a doubt, after the news that Hull, the 2017 incumbent, has expanded its city centre retail trade exponentially, according to local gossip. Despite losing it...

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Funny story: Old Bag Shopping Trolley Sales At 40-Year High

Old Bag Shopping Trolley Sales At 40-Year High

Figures out today reveal an unexpected upturn in retail sales for the month of January, with many shops that sell those 'old bag' shopping trolleys (pictured) reporting a huge increase in demand. The trolleys are the preferred method of conveying...

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Funny story: Amazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen

Amazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen

Amazon, the online shopping retailer, has said that it is facing being forced to make staff at its distribution centers redundant, as online sales for Christmas have fallen way below expected targets. Sales of goods are 28% down on those in the fi...

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Funny story: Christmas Sales To Start On Christmas Day

Christmas Sales To Start On Christmas Day

Christmas bargain hunters will not have quite as long to wait for their 'Christmas bargains' this year, after businesses voted overwhelmingly to throw open their doors to customers at 6am on 25 December. The move comes as high-street traders try t...

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Funny story: The Spoof's Black Friday Deal Faces Customer Backlash

The Spoof's Black Friday Deal Faces Customer Backlash

Customers caused uproar when The Spoof's Black Friday bargain buy turned out not to be a bargain after all. On a first come first served basis from midnight on Friday, The Spoof's offer of a free subscription to the first million customers was soon b...

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Funny story: Whole Foods Targets Local Markets with “Enhanced Whole Foods” in NYC and “Holy Foods” in Nashville, TN

Whole Foods Targets Local Markets with “Enhanced Whole Foods” in NYC and “Holy Foods” in Nashville, TN

It's no secret that Americans love] processed foods or that plenty more love Jesus – and Whole Foods CEO John Mackey recently announced that the company will be tapping into local sentiment by bringing specialized branches to certain markets, beginni...

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Funny story: Clean Up in Aisle One

Clean Up in Aisle One

My Ami, Florida—Pubix, a Florida grocery chain, has posted signs outside its stores: no dogs allowed (unless they are trained service dogs) and no dogs allowed in or on grocery carts (even if they are trained service dogs). The problem is that the do...

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Funny story: Douche Bag Pays For Stupid Shit With A Credit Card

Douche Bag Pays For Stupid Shit With A Credit Card

Snapperville, Iowa. Dick Head, Fuck Face, and Jerk Off. These were just a few words that were used to describe local snot rag, Ryan Skepper, 24, who used a credit card at a gas station to pay for an ice cream cone, a bag of Cheetos, and a bottle of...

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Funny story: Man Went To Tesco At 3am 'To See What It Would Be Like'

Man Went To Tesco At 3am 'To See What It Would Be Like'

A man with little better to do than visit supermarkets in the middle of the night, has recounted how he visited his local Tesco Superstore at 3am one morning - just to see what it would feel like! Moys Kenwood, 55, told of how, in September 2017,...

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Funny story: Elon Musk Develops System to Transport Trapped Shoppers Out of Ikea Stores

Elon Musk Develops System to Transport Trapped Shoppers Out of Ikea Stores

Palo Alto, California - Elon Musk, the celebrated technology pioneer who founded and runs Tesla and Spacex, has announced a new startup that would develop technology allowing shoppers, burned-out spouses of those shopping, and others lost in Ikea sto...

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Funny story: UK supermarket shoppers are sick of being called "Darling" and prefer "Bitch!"

UK supermarket shoppers are sick of being called "Darling" and prefer "Bitch!"

A leading UK supermarket has ordered its cash till operators to stop calling punters, darling, sweetheart, luv, or anything else that makes modern day shopper's blood cringe! Back in the old days of the "Old Corner Shop" these expressions were acc...

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Funny story: Man Discovers Secret to Retail Revival

Man Discovers Secret to Retail Revival

Who knew it could be so easy? One man has a unique solution to stop the onslaught of retail stores from shuttering their windows and locking their doors. He is formulating a follow-up plan to prevent tumbleweeds from rolling across barren mall pa...

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