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Funny satire stories about Shopping

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Funny story: 7-Eleven to become 7-Seven

7-Eleven to become 7-Seven

Back in 1927 Teodore Vincent Thompson and his brother Wallace Jeb Thompson founded an icehouse in Bluebonnet City, Texas, and they named it Chubby & Fatty's Icehouse. They sold beer, soft drinks, cigarettes, candy, milk, and condoms. And af…

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Funny story: Dollar Tree Is Changing Its Name

Dollar Tree Is Changing Its Name

CHESAPEAKE, Virginia - (Satire News) - Dollar Tree is an American discount variety store. It operates 16,213 stores throughout the nation. Metro News Service writer Joaquin Cerveza, stated that the store that sells most of its items for $1.25,incl…

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Funny story: A shop you don't remember visiting has sent you a Christmas Card

A shop you don't remember visiting has sent you a Christmas Card

A shop you don't remember visiting has sent you a Christmas card. The store, known throughout your small city for its bespoke furniture, small portions of food served in the onsite Cafe, unseemly grafitti art and very high business rates has sent…

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Funny story: New Tech...Self-Checkout Machines in Stores - a Shoplifter's Dream

New Tech...Self-Checkout Machines in Stores - a Shoplifter's Dream

Businesses are computerizing Everything. even your Toilet. (Here is your daily Crap report.) Retail Stores are the Recent really big users of Computerization. To save a Buck - they got rid of the underpaid Check - out guys and gals and ma…

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Funny story: Terry's Chocolate Orange still on the shelf

Terry's Chocolate Orange still on the shelf

Although it is less than two weeks until Christmas, Terry's Chocolate Orange Michael Gove is still on the shelf. He has not even gone for free in one of the shop's buy four for the price of three offers. 'It is not great' said Michael, forlornly.

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Funny story: Websites Still Want Your Feedback

Websites Still Want Your Feedback

A website that you ordered something from three months still wants your feedback. The shoelaces that you bought once, and have not thought about since, arrived quickly and were well packaged, but the website is so needy that it needs your approval…

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Funny story: My hatred for dithering old lady in post office exceeded that of Achilles towards Hector, says local man

My hatred for dithering old lady in post office exceeded that of Achilles towards Hector, says local man

A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local newspaper that the naked and unfettered hatred he felt towards an elderly lady who kept him waiting in line at the post office exceeded the burning loathing that the Ancient Greek hero, Achilles, felt to…

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Funny story: Whole Foods To Be Renamed 'MILF Central'

Whole Foods To Be Renamed 'MILF Central'

Bezos is said to have had another epiphany on one of his late night rocket rides to the edge of space: Why not just rename his Whole Foods stores for what they are best known for, the hottie MILFs in almost every isle. A survey showed that pretty…

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Funny story: FedEx Has Now Resorted To Using Robot Drivers

FedEx Has Now Resorted To Using Robot Drivers

MEMPHIS, Tennessee – (Satire News) – FedEx, the transportation giant has just announced that it has finally perfected the art of using electronic robot drivers to deliver their customers' products. A FedEx rep said that the company had been workin…

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Funny story: India Decides To Turn The Taj Mahal Into a Gigantic Shopping Mall

India Decides To Turn The Taj Mahal Into a Gigantic Shopping Mall

BOMBAY, India – (World Satire) – India’s Sacred Cow News Agency is reporting that the country has decided to get with the modern times and it will be turning the famous pastel white marble mausoleum into an ultra modern shopping mall. The mall wil…

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Funny story: Dollar Tree In a Blockbuster Move Is Now Selling Pets!

Dollar Tree In a Blockbuster Move Is Now Selling Pets!

IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA, Virginia – (Satire News) – The Nation’s #1 variety discount store chain has just hit a gold mine! Boom Boom News is reporting that the store that sells all kinds of items for $1.25 has ventured into the pet arena. And nation…

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Funny story: A Woman Is Arrested For Molesting a Loaf of French Bread In a Seattle Supermarket

A Woman Is Arrested For Molesting a Loaf of French Bread In a Seattle Supermarket

SEATTLE – (Satire News) – The Seattle Police Department reports that they were called to a local Lollygag Supermarket on one of the strangest calls they have ever received. SPD officers Dwayne Floor (Badge #209903) and Teddy Tellavino (Badge #4341…

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Funny story: Dollar Tree To Become Two-Dollar Tree

Dollar Tree To Become Two-Dollar Tree

IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA, Virginia – (Business Satire) - Dollar Tree is a chain of variety discount stores that sells everything from pencils to pliers and pretzels to pantiliners. The franchise, which has over 15,000 stores nationwide, was founded on H…

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Funny story: Bezos-Musk, Inc., Announces They Will Build The Biggest Retail Shopping Mall In The World

Bezos-Musk, Inc., Announces They Will Build The Biggest Retail Shopping Mall In The World

LAREDO, Texas - (Satire News) – The biggest corporation in the world, which is headed by multi-billionaires Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk has just stated that they will soon begin construction on what will be the biggest retail mall in the entire world.

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Funny story: Christmas wankers lap up Sage & Onion latte

Christmas wankers lap up Sage & Onion latte

Sales of the new Sage & Onion Latte have been booming at coffee shops across the UK, as people will buy a dog turd on a stick if they’ve been told it’s a ‘Festive Limited Edition.’ “It’s just the ticket after a gruelling ninety minutes shopp…

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Funny story: Ikea UK reports empty shelves and Brits are now sleeping on ancient, sagging, yellow stained, Made in UK mattresses!

Ikea UK reports empty shelves and Brits are now sleeping on ancient, sagging, yellow stained, Made in UK mattresses!

Post Brexit consequences are being swept under the carpet (not made in the EU, Made in Iran) as UK mega-large retailers are beginning to complain that their shelves are becoming emptier and emptier! Brit supermarket shoppers are hoarding olive oil…

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Funny story: Python called 'Monty' goes shopping in Adelaide supermarket!

Python called 'Monty' goes shopping in Adelaide supermarket!

A python called 'Monty' residing in a tenth floor, 45sq meter flat in downtown Adelaide decided to slip out of its aquarium and go on a shopping spree! The owner, high on a joint, discovered his beloved snake had escaped after going to the bathroo…

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