The KKK to Suspend Their Weekly Cross Burnings Because of C-19

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Sunday, 29 March 2020

image for The KKK to Suspend Their Weekly Cross Burnings Because of C-19
The Alligator KKK says that whoever stole the flag from the meeting hall better put it back and damn quick!

ALLIGATOR, Mississippi – The Mississippi Delta Order of The Grand Dandelion has just emailed all of their members a very important message.

Assistant Semi-Grand Dragon, Rufus Leland “Slick” Maconwitt, informed the fellas that, due to the new 6-foot self-distancing policy, there is just no way that the good old boys will be able to have their weekly cross-burning jamboree.

Maconwitt said that any member who wants to, can ask for a cross-burning refund, and the money will be mailed to their trailer in a discreet purple envelope marked: “Yo dis here envylope she be damn personal y’all.”

“Slick” did want all the boys to know the monthly Fried Possum and Chitlin’s Picnic will still be held, but it will be held at an undisclosed secret location, most probably at Earl “Bubba” Truckee’s catfish farm.

Meanwhile, any member who still owes money to the chapter for their summertime robes and hoods, should make every damn effort to send in their payment as the treasurer says that the KKK bank checking account is now down to $17.42.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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