US 'Chaperone' Politician Arouses His Wife's Suspicions

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 12 July 2019

image for US 'Chaperone' Politician Arouses His Wife's Suspicions
Robert Foster (left) faking a smile to conceal his guilt from his wife, Heather

The US politician who refused an interview with a female reporter unless she brought along a male chaperone, have aroused the suspicions of his wife, it seems.

Robert Foster, a Republican candidate for Mississippi governor, told reporter, Larrison Campbell, that, if she wanted to accompany him on his campaign trail, she would have to bring a man along, so that no accusations of 'anything untoward' could be leveled at him later.

Foster cited his religion and faith, saying that he had made a vow to his wife to "never be alone with someone of the opposite sex", and said:

"I made a vow to my wife, that I would never be alone with someone of the opposite sex. That is, the female sex. In a word, a woman. Well, that's two words, but you know what I mean. All women, any woman, if that's not too rambling."

This rambling explanation, however, had a counterproductive effect on Foster's wife, Heather.

Sensing that her husband was mumbling, and saying rather too much for his own good, rang an alarm bell in her pretty blond head. Her 'woman's instinct' told her that something was wrong, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"I couldn't quite put my finger on it," she said, "but I sensed something was amiss."

She explained:

"He seemed nervous when he was saying it. He was edgy, fidgety, almost like there was something he was hiding. I've watched the tape over again several times, and he's certainly very twitchy."

Heather told how she'd checked Robert's phone whilst he was asleep, and gone through his desk whilst he was at work, but, so far, nothing concrete has turned up.

But she isn't giving up.

Employing typical American logic, she said:

"Just because we can't find something, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist - it does exist, but it's so well hidden, that we can't find it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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