President Trump Has Noticed A Similarity Between The Words 'Panic' And 'Pandemic'

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 24 March 2020

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Trump asks everyone to stay calm - he has everything under control

It's been reported from the White House in the last few minutes, that President Donald Trump has become aware of a distinct similarity between two very popular words in circulation at the moment - 'panic' and 'pandemic'.

According to reliable sources, the president made the discovery whilst preparing a tweet to Russian leader, Vladimir Putin, who has been conspicuous by his absence from world affairs since the Coronavirus outbreak started.

According to Trump, the two words have five letters in common, in the correct order, and the three letters left over - 'd', 'e' and 'm' - could, theoretically be used to construct the anagram:

Dem panic.

Putting two and two together, and getting eight, Trump quickly interpreted this as a 'code phrase' being used by his political rivals to distract him.

He immediately called a high-level meeting of all his closest aides for later today, where he will tell them to stand down, and that the whole thing is merely a Democratic Party plot to undermine his 2020 Election Campaign.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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