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Funny satire stories about presidential pardon

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Funny story: Will Donald Trump Pardon The Terrorists Who Stormed The Capitol?

Will Donald Trump Pardon The Terrorists Who Stormed The Capitol?

Will Donald Trump pardon the hundreds of domestic terrorists who stormed the Capitol on January 6? A pardon for the terrorists who perpetrated the attack, breaking windows, doors, furniture, vandalizing files, stealing laptops, personal mementos,…

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Funny story: Wikileaks Founder Julian Assange Begs Trump to Pardon Him

Wikileaks Founder Julian Assange Begs Trump to Pardon Him

LIVERPOOL, England – The founder of Wikileaks and Pipileaks, Julian Assange, texted President Trump and begged him to please give him a Presidential Pardon so he can get out of prison before he hurts himself with a bar of soap. Assange has used up…

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Funny story: CNN in a Brilliant Move Hires Trump's Former Lawyer and Fixer Michael Cohen to be a Political Consultant

CNN in a Brilliant Move Hires Trump's Former Lawyer and Fixer Michael Cohen to be a Political Consultant

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The president of CNN stated that there is no one on the face of the earth who knows more intimate secrets about President Trump than Michael Cohen. Cohen knows where all of Trump’s dozens of skeletons are buried, as…

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Funny story: Pardon Me: Trump, Pence, and the 2020 Ticket

Pardon Me: Trump, Pence, and the 2020 Ticket

Mike Pence will be running for re-election as vice-president. In most circles, this is quite a surprise. The issue has nothing to do with what Pence did or did not do. Overall, he has been a good vice president who has somehow managed to avoid loo…

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Funny story: Michael Cohen Says That He Is Ready To Spill The Beans on President Trump

Michael Cohen Says That He Is Ready To Spill The Beans on President Trump

MADRID, New York – The man who was Donald Trump’s personal attorney and so called “Fixer” for ten years, has just commented that he is ready to sing like Celine Dion. Michael Cohen said that he has had a lot of time to think, as he sat in his tiny...

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Funny story: President Trump Defends The Houston Astros

President Trump Defends The Houston Astros

BRANDYWINE, Maryland – Republican, Donald Trump, was interviewed by Sports Balls Illustrated writer, Pistachio Custer, and was asked what he thought about the Houston Astros Sign-Stealing Scandal. POTUS put his Big Mac burger down, grinned like th...

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Funny story: Trump Pardons Hitler

Trump Pardons Hitler

President Trump has issued a full pardon for Adolf Hitler, and released the following statement: "Under my role model's administration, the German economy was the strongest it had ever been. The stock market was through the roof. And the Germ...

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Funny story: Trump Pardons E-Cigarette Company for Hooking Millions of Kids on Nicotine

Trump Pardons E-Cigarette Company for Hooking Millions of Kids on Nicotine

In a dramatic policy reversal, United States President, Donald Trump, instead of banning most flavored e-cigarettes, as he had previously pledged to do, issued a presidential pardon of e-cigarette company JUUL, relieving the vaping company of crimina...

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Funny story: Trump Pardons Racehorse, Blames Robert Mueller As Maximum Security Bombs

Trump Pardons Racehorse, Blames Robert Mueller As Maximum Security Bombs

Louisville, Kentucky - Racecourse stewards ‘in league with Special Counsel Robert Mueller’ likely robbed 9-2 Kentucky Derby pick Maximum Security of victory, a presidential spokesperson said today. Trump reportedly lost a packet backing the Jason...

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Funny story: Trump pardons turkey. Lifts sanctions on Ankara.

Trump pardons turkey. Lifts sanctions on Ankara.

The video of from President Trump forgiving one well-fed turkey on the White House lawns went viral. Trump marked the occasion with a speech saying that forgiving turkeys would make America great. The recipients of the Great Presidential Pardon were...

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Funny story: President Trump Offers to Pardon Oklahoma Senator James M. Inhofe in Tweet

President Trump Offers to Pardon Oklahoma Senator James M. Inhofe in Tweet

Washington - President Trump indicated in two tweets that he will pardon James Inhofe, the current senator from Oklahoma, in the next few days. "Jim Inhofe is a great senator who has been horribly treated by Obama, Hillary and the Dems since he wa...

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Funny story: Trump Pardons Lincoln Assassin

Trump Pardons Lincoln Assassin

The White House. 24 minutes ago. Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders called reporters to the Briefing Room a short time ago to announce that President Donald J. Trump had issued another celebrity-championed posthumous pardon. Today's recipient was...

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Funny story: Trump.com™ pardons 129 serial killers including Sheriff Arpaio

Trump.com™ pardons 129 serial killers including Sheriff Arpaio

Cowering behind the Texas hurricane Trump.com™ has committed yet another impeachable act and pardoned Americas 129 of the US worst serial killers. They are to be employed as Trump.com™ personal protection group and also assist sheriff...

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Funny story: Racists Line Up for Presidential Pardon

Racists Line Up for Presidential Pardon

Charlottesville, VA - As part of a newly announced program, hundreds of racists across the country have lined up in Charlottesville, Virginia to apply for President Trump's presidential pardon. The pardon is granted automatically. To be eligibl...

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Funny story: Trump stuns: Pardons of Arpaio, Bernie & Charles---The art of the pardon!

Trump stuns: Pardons of Arpaio, Bernie & Charles---The art of the pardon!

In a video today President Donald Trump, once again, shocked and dismayed America. In a voice that, at the least, tried to be dramatic. Trump said in a voice eerily similar to Moms Mabley's famous rendition of Abraham, Martin and John that he was par...

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Funny story: Trump Pardons Himself

Trump Pardons Himself

Washington, DC - President Donald Trump recently began to utter the words "Pardon me" with regularity. Although the President blames his chef's spicy food and a busy travel schedule for his continuous desire to be pardoned, sources say he is worri...

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Funny story: Abe the turkey rejects Obama's pardon

Abe the turkey rejects Obama's pardon

Abe the Turkey, has rejected the president's yearly tradition of pardoning a turkey every thanksgiving. Reading from a prepared statement, Abe's attorney's Lorenzo De Pavo, explained that his client has no reason to accept a pardon because that woul...

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