Will Donald Trump pardon the hundreds of domestic terrorists who stormed the Capitol on January 6? A pardon for the terrorists who perpetrated the attack, breaking windows, doors, furniture, vandalizing files, stealing laptops, personal mementos,…
LIVERPOOL, England – The founder of Wikileaks and Pipileaks, Julian Assange, texted President Trump and begged him to please give him a Presidential Pardon so he can get out of prison before he hurts himself with a bar of soap. Assange has used up…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The president of CNN stated that there is no one on the face of the earth who knows more intimate secrets about President Trump than Michael Cohen. Cohen knows where all of Trump’s dozens of skeletons are buried, as…
Mike Pence will be running for re-election as vice-president. In most circles, this is quite a surprise. The issue has nothing to do with what Pence did or did not do. Overall, he has been a good vice president who has somehow managed to avoid loo…
MADRID, New York – The man who was Donald Trump’s personal attorney and so called “Fixer” for ten years, has just commented that he is ready to sing like Celine Dion. Michael Cohen said that he has had a lot of time to think, as he sat in his tiny...
BRANDYWINE, Maryland – Republican, Donald Trump, was interviewed by Sports Balls Illustrated writer, Pistachio Custer, and was asked what he thought about the Houston Astros Sign-Stealing Scandal. POTUS put his Big Mac burger down, grinned like th...
President Trump has issued a full pardon for Adolf Hitler, and released the following statement: "Under my role model's administration, the German economy was the strongest it had ever been. The stock market was through the roof. And the Germ...
In a dramatic policy reversal, United States President, Donald Trump, instead of banning most flavored e-cigarettes, as he had previously pledged to do, issued a presidential pardon of e-cigarette company JUUL, relieving the vaping company of crimina...
Louisville, Kentucky - Racecourse stewards ‘in league with Special Counsel Robert Mueller’ likely robbed 9-2 Kentucky Derby pick Maximum Security of victory, a presidential spokesperson said today. Trump reportedly lost a packet backing the Jason...
The video of from President Trump forgiving one well-fed turkey on the White House lawns went viral. Trump marked the occasion with a speech saying that forgiving turkeys would make America great. The recipients of the Great Presidential Pardon were...
Washington - President Trump indicated in two tweets that he will pardon James Inhofe, the current senator from Oklahoma, in the next few days. "Jim Inhofe is a great senator who has been horribly treated by Obama, Hillary and the Dems since he wa...
The White House. 24 minutes ago. Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders called reporters to the Briefing Room a short time ago to announce that President Donald J. Trump had issued another celebrity-championed posthumous pardon. Today's recipient was...
Cowering behind the Texas hurricane Trump.com™ has committed yet another impeachable act and pardoned Americas 129 of the US worst serial killers. They are to be employed as Trump.com™ personal protection group and also assist sheriff...
Charlottesville, VA - As part of a newly announced program, hundreds of racists across the country have lined up in Charlottesville, Virginia to apply for President Trump's presidential pardon. The pardon is granted automatically. To be eligibl...
In a video today President Donald Trump, once again, shocked and dismayed America. In a voice that, at the least, tried to be dramatic. Trump said in a voice eerily similar to Moms Mabley's famous rendition of Abraham, Martin and John that he was par...
Washington, DC - President Donald Trump recently began to utter the words "Pardon me" with regularity. Although the President blames his chef's spicy food and a busy travel schedule for his continuous desire to be pardoned, sources say he is worri...
Abe the Turkey, has rejected the president's yearly tradition of pardoning a turkey every thanksgiving. Reading from a prepared statement, Abe's attorney's Lorenzo De Pavo, explained that his client has no reason to accept a pardon because that woul...
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