The Number One Thing About Bernie Sanders That Turns People Off

Funny story written by Fannin Fabriano

Wednesday, 19 February 2020

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Bernie told Chris Wallace of Fox News that he wants to challenge Trump to a good old-fashioned molasses wrestling match.

DUCKWATER, Nevada – Bernie Sanders was campaigning in Duckwater, Nevada, which is famous for being the only city west of the Mississippi River that Mrs. Abraham Lincoln ever visited.

Sanders was interviewed by a reporter with The Las Vegas Citizen-News. The Bernster was asked if he felt that, at 78, he may just be a little too 'long in the tooth' to be running for the leader of the free world.

Bernie, opened his mouth and replied, “Look inside my mouth, Junior. Tell me, do you see any long teeth in there?” The reporter replied that he didn’t. “So, are you happy now? little wimpy, wet-nosed whippersnapper, you.”

The reporter grinned as he commented, “Mr. Sanders, Lou Dobbs of Fox News said that recent polls show that lots of Democrats are turned off by your silly-as-hell hair comb-over, and he added that you aren't really fooling anyone."

Sanders stood up in front of the reporter, pointed a finger in his face, and yelled, “Well, let me say this about that, and listen to me good, bitch. You and Lou 'The Fat Pig' Dobbs can both kiss my Vermont molasses-gathering ass, ya hear.”

(IN A RELATED STORY – Bernie’s wife, Jane, said that, if she ever sees Dobbs in person, she is going to kick him so hard in his nuts, that they're both going to end up next to his tonsils.)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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