Biden secretly in training with Hillary over gaffes re Ukraine, Hunter, etc., etc.

Written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 4 February 2020

image for Biden secretly in training with Hillary over gaffes re Ukraine, Hunter, etc., etc.
Candidate Biden also considering wardrobe change to improve his image

Insider sources indicate Joe Biden has been sequestered with Ms. Clinton in a low building with back entrances and a secret elevator somewhere in Washington D.C.

A training program is underway on image-control.

Former Ukraine prosecutor Viktor Shokin has added to Biden's woes by filing a criminal complaint for getting him fired over the Burisma Holdings case.

Questioned on all this, Mr. Biden has resorted to anger. He has been grabbing people's lapels, and suggesting fisticuffs or a push-up contest.

His descent from "Uncle Joe" with bright teeth is now being compared to the heart of darkness.

So, to training with HRC.

Exercise No.1: A female trainer questions him on Hunter's cushy job.

He screams: “Why me? Huh? What about Hillary Clinton's deals in Ukraine? Huh? Huh?''

Ms. Clinton steps forward to suggest he try another response.

Exercise No. 2:

This time he grabs the staff member's shoulders, and rubs his nose on her forehead:

“Look, you don't know what you're talking about!"

Followed by: "Cheez, you smell good!”

Ms. Clinton's response: “No, no, no. Let's begin with the concept of sheep-dipping.”

Mr. Biden: “Sheep-dipping? You mean sheep-dogging!”

“No, no, no. Sheep-dogging is reserved for Bernie Sanders. First, he loses the nomination again. Next, he urges all his supporters to vote for whoever we in the DNC nominate at that time."

“Which is me! Right?”

Ms. Clinton puts an arm around his shoulders.

"Now to sheep-dipping.. Depict anybody who accuses you of anything as a frantic nut-case commie supporter of Vladimir Putin--as with Tulsi Gabbard!”

"Harp on this: the Ukraine fiasco is strictly Trump's problem! Nothing to do with Joe Biden!"

"Now, re Hunter? Patriot who served in the military!"

"Keep saying: them Russians, them Russians, it's always them Russians!"

"In fact, them Russians are already at it--delaying results from the Iowa primary!".

Silence from the training staff, including from Mr. Biden.

Ms. Clinton again:

“Anyway, Joe, I have an urge for another go at winning the presidency.”

“How many here think it's a good idea? What with our hold on the DNC nominating committee and all? We come in at the last moment and take it?"

"Good idea?"

More silence.

“That way, Joe, you could retire and write a book the way I did.".

Silence continuing,

“You could title yours What Didn't Happen!”

“Joe? Joe? Now get that wild look out of your eye! Don't touch me! Help!”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more