DNC announces Shadow App to become new TV crime series

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Monday, 17 February 2020

image for DNC announces Shadow App to become new TV crime series
New TV crime series "Trials of The Shadow App" coming soon

Embroiled in controversy over the failed Shadow App in the Iowa primary, DNC officials have announced a change of direction.

The tribulations of the Shadow App will now be converted into a TV crime series starring Adam Schiff, who has been considering a new career.

Representative Jerry Nadler also has a role as prosecutor.

The Shadow App misrepresents everything from elections to sales of toilet paper.

Each episode of the new series will begin with a deep voice announcing: “Here comes the Shadow App!”

The Shadow App, approved by the Democratic National Convention (DNC) for tabulating votes in some of the primary races, was shown in wild disarray on February 3, date of the Iowa Primary.

It miscounted votes, assigned votes to the wrong parties, and generally descended into a gabble of uncertainty and misinformation.

Results from the Iowa primary are still unclear, with Mr. Sanders receiving a plurality of votes, but Mr. Buttigieg somehow has more delegates.

Mr. Schiff is reported eager to begin a new acting career following disappointing results from the recent impeachment trial, in which he played a leading role.

He had maintained Mr. Trump might trade Alaska to Mr. Putin, and secretly have Jared Kushner run the White House.

This closing argument produced yawns from Trump-supporting senators who followed up by acquitting the President immediately.

Mr. Trump moved on to a State of the Union resembling Saturday Night Live in better years.

Mr. Schiff and Mr. Nadler were reported devastated, including spending long hours at a Washington watering hole called Club Methuselah.

Anonymous DNC officials indicate the new Shadow App was guaranteed for positive results to DNC interests, so they took it on eagerly without looking into it properly.

But as a new crime series, especially with Mr. Schiff in cloak-and-dagger position as sales personnel, the new Shadow App program already has a strong beginning—due to its failure in Iowa.

Audiences are looking to a new sort of “reality TV” dramatizing DNC malfeasance here and there.

The opening episode shows Mr. Nadler, tense in his prosecutor's office role, having learned that a former member of that office (Mr. Schiff) is manipulating the App with misleading results in elections and other enterprises.

This rogue behavior, however, is presented as Mr. Schiff's answer to “saving the country,” hence a difficult bind for prosecutors since he “means well”.

Preview audiences are reported enthralled.

Those smuggling “Bernie” signs into the screenings are immediately ejected.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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