Ariana Grande Is Considering Running For Mayor of Her Hometown of Boca Raton, Florida

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Tuesday, 11 February 2020

image for Ariana Grande Is Considering Running For Mayor of Her Hometown of Boca Raton, Florida
Ariana singing her hit song, "Thank U Next" at The Voodoo Arena in New Orleans.

NEW ORLEANS – The iNews Agency recently interviewed Ariana Grande just before she took the stage at The Voodoo Arena in New Orleans.

The 26-year-old singing firecracker told iA’s Kitty Segovia that she has never been more frustrated with the state of our nation as she is now.

The petite 5-feet-tall songstress sipped on a Papaya Margarita, and commented that President “Old Lard Ass” is running the country into the frickin' ground.

She added that the GOP gelding senators are sitting back and just watching like a bunch of marionettes and puppets that haven't got any balls, especially Mitch "The Turtle Bitch" McConnell, Lindsey "Sissy Girl" Graham, and Kevin "No Balls" Nunes.

She then pointed out that, out of the world’s 195 countries, a total of 163 now hate us because of the shitty ass way that our ass wipe fake president is acting.

The petite songstress went on to say that "Baby Pee-Pee Donnie" forgot that he is the president and not the freakin’ king.

Grande then dropped a bombshell, and said that she is considering running for mayor of Boca Raton, Florida. She said that, when elected, she will sign a mayorial executive order that will keep all Republican candidates off the city’s election ballots.

There are some who may say that it is illegal to do so, but like Ariana said, “If the ‘Commander-in-Shit’ can make presidential executive orders, then I as the mayor will make mayoral executive orders as well."

(IN CLOSING - Grande said that she is currently rehearsing a song about “The Divider-in-Chief.” The title is “Dear Sweet Melania, Can You Please Slap Some Sense Into Your Crazy, Piece of Rhino Shit Husband?”)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more