Democrats Approve Stalinist Show Trial for Impeachment

Funny story written by Zabdgrov667

Tuesday, 5 November 2019

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Sorry Putin - Your Old KGB Is Less Stalinist Than The Democrats

WASHINGTON DC - The leaders of the Democrat Party voted to formalize the removal of President Donald Trump through the Secret Hearings held by Adam Schiff (D-NY), using Anonymous CIA "Whistle-Blowers." Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) praised the CIA as "likely to be the most patriotic, honest, kind, and enlightened agency on earth." Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) added to Democrat support for the CIA by saying "the best thing elected politicians can do is TRUST the CIA, and do everything they tell us to do."

Although some people have said that "Jurisdiction" and "Authority to Investigate" DO NOT EXIST until AFTER a Specific Crime has been named, and that US law forbids "Red Queen" courts where accusers get to choose a judge and jury which renders a pre-determined verdict, the Democrats seem to follow processes that Josef Stalin would be proud to call his own. Democrat-style Impeachment of Political Enemies is based on simple concepts:

  • Accused may be DENIED Legal Counsel
  • Accused may be DENIED Cross-Examination of Accuser(s)
  • Accused may be DENIED Right to Present Own Evidence
  • Accused may be DENIED Access to Testimony Made in Court

Finally - Accused may be FOUND GUILTY even if there is NO CRIME.

In many ways, experts suspect that the Democrats in Congress are not behind the Impeachment effort. Independent research has shown that Persons in Congress to be the least intelligent demographic group in the US. According to one study, Politicians in Congress typically have the same capacity for Independent Thought as termites - because the "thoughts" in Congress are the result of Lobbyists, Opinion-Poll Consultants, and "Dark Money."

In January 2017, Chuck Schumer told a reporter "you take on the intelligence community - they have six ways from Sunday at getting back at you." In some ways, the senator's statement shows a level of self-awareness that's found in humans of (at least) average intelligence. A Senate Staffer explained why Schumer has approved ALL CIA Spending Requests for the last ten years. The rumor is that "Chuck" learned not to cut CIA funding because of a LONG night when he got strapped to a metal chair with duct-tape, and then high-voltage electrodes were attached to his genitals.

"X" (Conspiracy Theory Expert): "They probably have Marxist-Stalinists controlling the Democrats in Congress.... Usually, the Illuminati would try to maintain a certain quality of life with decadent excess. When you deal with people who have spent their entire lives in Universities (or Bureaucracy), you often see an absence of rational thought, combined with overwhelming narcissism, where no sign of a soul exists. Political A$$HOLES call themselves a lot of different things - Socialist, Progressive, Liberal, Collectivist, Communist, Marxist, Alinskyite, etc ... but they basically steal as much as they can and $hit on people."

Strangely enough, an open declaration of sedition by a former acting CIA Director seems to indicate that spying against Donald Trump wasn't ordered by President Obama, because Obama was a know-nothing puppet that read a teleprompter and appeared in photo-ops. In a television interview, John McLaughlin proudly claimed that the agents of the CIA "are responding to a higher call" and said "thank God for the Deep State." When asked if the "higher call" of the CIA meant the "US Constitution and Freedom", McLaughlin laughed uncontrollably, then explained how the Intelligence Community tells DC politicians where to start wars, who to bomb, and when the Rights of Americans should be ignored.

Although John McLaughlin was "acting" as CIA Director in 2004, he wanted to clarify that: First, he doesn't believe in God - unless you count RAGNAROK. Second, you can never have "too much death and terror." Finally, the best governments the world has known were the Pharaohs of Egypt, and Rome under Caligula's rule.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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