21-Year-Old Broadcasting Student Latest Victim of Cancellation Culture After Accidentally Nosediving Into Instagram Model’s Tits at Coachella

Written by David E. Wesley

Wednesday, 20 November 2019

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INDIO, CALIFORNIA -San Bernardino resident and Berkley student, Gus Bellshore, experienced a cataclysmic mishap on Day 1 of the hip music festival Coachella. What started out as a relaxing and refreshing trip to see some of his favorite bands with some friends, turned into a horrific nightmare, when Bellshore accidentally face planted into the DD breasts of Instagram model, Mary Snider.

Bellshore was making his way back to an insufferable drum circle where his friends were waiting for him. He had split off from the group for several hours, as he was the only one that had interest in watching the extended set of the psychedelic folk band, Splitting Image.

Naturally, he had a few PBR's that he had sloshed down after the first few songs. He was rocking and minding his own business, and doing the standard hippy shitty white dance moves like 360 degree spins in place, waving his arms, and twisting his hands in the air. Just several minutes after the set ended, Bellshore was walking up a muddy hill, and that's when his life would be forever changed. In a freak accident, the odds of which were like the Earth bumping into the Sun, Bellshore slipped on some mud at the same time that Mary Snider slipped forward on the same patch of mud, and the two collided with Bellshore's face firmly smashed into the cleavage of Snider's busty chest.

Snider giggled at first, then felt bad for Bellshore, as he was incessantly apologizing. In their brief exchange, she did manage to snap a few pictures on her iPhone as Gus made contact with her monstrous mammaries. She then tweeted the pictures on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram with a selfie of her horrified looking face.

Within minutes, Bellshore received a phone call from his manager at WBNT-50 in Rockport Oregon, where he was interning as a video editor in the news department, and was hoping to be hired when he graduated in May 2020. He was informed by a representative at their HR department that a woke news intern had seen the pictures, brought it to their attention, and he was now immediately terminated from his internship. He was screamed at by this HR rep that he was a sexual predator, and that he would never work in news broadcasting ever again.

Meanwhile, as Mary was laughing and consoling Gus that the top heavy collision was indeed a freak accident, she suggested that they exchange phone numbers in case her feelings and memories changed about the recent incident or, if 15 years from now, she had a book to promote and decided to create false memories of the current event, and decided that it was a deliberate sexual assault instead of an accident.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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