Prince Andrew: Is Jane Doe For Real?

Written by Moys Kenwood

Tuesday, 19 November 2019

image for Prince Andrew: Is Jane Doe For Real?
Doe, with her "come to court" eyes

Prince Andrew's legal team have poured scorn on the latest Jeffrey Epstein accusor, who has said that she was sexually abused by the former financier after giving him a massage on his private island in New Mexico when she was just 15 years old.

The woman, who is now 31, goes by the name of Jane Doe, but, say the Duke of York's legal team, this is clearly a fictitious name.

"Whoever heard of a name like 'Jane Doe'? It's clearly made up," said Alan Rapemeister, of Sue Mee & Associates, from their office in Park Lane.

Doe is the latest in a long line of women who are now laying siege to the Epstein estate, now that the Royal family have managed to convince everybody he took his own life. She has made a statement asking Prince Andrew to share all the information he has on Epstein, and to "come clean".

The Duke said:

"I don't know any Jane Doe. Or, if I do, I don't remember her."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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