International Peace Marathon in Washington DC to feature participation of National Security Adviser as IRAN.

Written by Absolute Bull

Saturday, 7 September 2019

image for International Peace Marathon in Washington DC to feature participation of National Security Adviser as IRAN.
John Bolton awakes from terrifying nightmare of world at peace. (Image courtesy Peak Prosperity)

National Security Adviser John Bolton dropped a bombshell in the White House War Room, when he declared that he had an Epiphany that lasted several hours through a sleep-deprived night.

“I’ve been itching to drop a bombshell on you-know-whom in the Middle East, and the name has gotten under my skin and it’s eating into my brain cells and causing a feverish and horrific phantasmagoria”.

“A WHAT GORIA??” bristled POTUS. “Can’t you see I’m in the eye of a storm, trying to determine whether Dorian is heading towards Alabama, and whether I can divert it to Venezuela with a well-placed nuke.”

“I’ve been having second thoughts, Boss,” murmured Bolton in a low, church-mouse voice. “We tore up the nuclear accord with Iran and then spanked Iran with sanctions all because our Saudi allies paid us billions for weaponry with the condition that we throttle Iran. Now we’re using sanctions as a weapon against North Korea, Venezuela, Turkey, Cuba, Mexico… the FED and Fox News.”

“Have you gone nuts, John?” growled POTUS. “You want a bitter dose of sanctions?”

“No boss,” pleaded the powerful National Security Adviser. “All I’m saying is that I have seen the light. An epiphany moment last night. I’ve become a Peacenik. See, I sprouted angelic wings.”

“I’ve got no time for this kind of unsanctioned behavior, John” spluttered the President. Pointing to the wings he asked,” And where are you taking off to anyway? The Mediterranean? To look for that slippery oil tanker?”

“No, Sir,” said John, flapping his wings. “I’m entering the International Peace Marathon here in Washington DC. It’s today, 7th September. And I’m wearing my running bib that proclaims I RAN. For peace that is, because it’s a Peace Marathon in honor of the famous Ethiopian marathon runner Abebe Bikila… who was a double Olympic Gold medalist and …"

“I don’t believe this, John” snarled the President. “How could you run around Washington with a sign that says IRAN? The Media will go ballistic. Tell me it’s fake news, damn it. If not, I’ll sanction you as an ‘also-ran’.

Prophetic words indeed. A mere 24 hours later. Mr Trump obviously depends on Spoof.com for sensible advice.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more