In Moment of Weakness Pope Tells Trump No Priest Would Have Wanted to Molest Him

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 7 February 2019

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Pope Francis fired back at Trump after the president called an historic chapel a "pedo whorehouse."

Things grew rather heated in the ongoing dispute between Pope Francis and President Donald Trump regarding Trump's proposed border wall, bringing out lesser sides of both parties.

The Pope chastised Trump for wanting to seize the historic La Lomita Chapel in Mission, Texas, to make way for the border wall. Trump lashed back by calling the chapel "just another pedo whorehouse" and thanking God that he'd never been an altar boy. The pope, speaking through an interpreter, told Trump that he was so ugly, that no priest would ever have wanted to molest him. He culminated by telling Trump to go to hell.

Pope Francis later recanted the insults, explaining that he has a lot on his mind, what with the border wall dispute, the humanitarian crisis in Yemen, and the latest revelations regarding priests and their sexual antics with nuns. "They say, to avoid conflict, you should avoid talking about sex and politics," he said with a wry smile. "But I just can't seem to get away from either one."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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